Day of Madness 2010 LIVE: Day 1

 

I know, no boobs is a risky endeavor.

Last year Bootlegger Sports exploded onto the scene with a live blog of the first two days of the NCAA basketball tournament.  To relive last year’s phenomenon, go here, here, here, and here.  Wow…we were productive and dedicated last year.  Don’t expect that kind of commitment this year because I’m working alone as Robbie is going broke/striking out with cocktail waitresses in Las Vegas.  That’s not a valid reason why the work will suffer.  It’s actually a valid reason why it should be much, much improved.  The valid reason for sub-par effort across the country today is St. Patrick’s Day was yesterday and it carried over into this morning.  Let’s just stick with that.

So I wrote that entire first paragraph yesterday afternoon and…well, I guess I’m psychic because that whole bit about going out for St. Patrick’s Day and being hung over today is totally on the money.  But, I’m a gamer so let’s get going!

11:10: Hello Greg Gumble…beautiful to see you this morning.

11:11: Sitting with a peanut gallery, first comment as the CBS crew comes on the screen- “I hate you Greg Anthony.”  It’s going to be a good day.

11:12: Since CBS seems opposed to greatness, like putting Gus Johnson on every big game, here’s the fantastic theme song from a few years back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4o_FZZ_Ccs

11:16: BYU and Florida getting us kicked off from scenic Oklahoma City.  People from Florida and Utah vacationing in Oklahoma is a little backwards, but let’s just roll with it.

11:20: Guess how many black people are in BYU’s band…

11:20: “I’m naming my kid ‘Jimmer’ if they win”.  These are binding verbal contracts.

11:22: Announcer Kevin Harlan sounds less than enthusiastic about doing this game, this early, the day after St. Patrick’s Day.

11:23: “Throws it…(yawn)…down!”

11:25: Instead of innocuous statements like “Florida does not mind running”, maybe these guys could tell me something interesting like how many times Florida players have been arrested this year.

11:26: This game is going to set records for stereo-type jokes.

11:29: Old Dominion and Notre Dame have tipped…that sounds like a good ol’ fashioned bible fight!

11:30: Apparently, “you want to make BYU dribble the ball up the court…” I assume ‘you’ refers to ‘the rules of basketball’.

11:32: “I bet they (BYU) aren’t allowed to dunk”

11:33: “They’re not allowed to dunk the way I’m not allowed to dunk”- 5′3″ white guy.

11:35: “Lipitor is not for everyone” which could also be the slogan for Mormonism.

11:38: Notre Dame better not win many games in this tourney…he has Tim Tebow media slober-fest potential.

11:40: Of course BYU’s token black guy has a mohawk.  If you’re going to do something, you do it with everything you’ve got.

11:40: Hold the phone, token black guy number two just checked in, prompting the line “he’s dark as night…if you turned the lights off, he’d dominate.”  Unfortunately that line wasn’t from an announcer.

11:42: Corey Fisher and Scottie Reynolds didn’t start for Villanova today, which Jay Wright described as a “teaching point.”  I wonder what he calls playing Robert Morris in the first round…a classroom?  I don’t know, it’s just a good place for a teaching point.

11:47: Robert Morris takes the lead on the legs of an 8-0 run and Old Dominion is cutting into the early Irish lead.  This March Madness thing just might catch on.

11:50: Florida has a power forward named Eric Murphy…so let the ‘Entourage’ jokes fly.

11:51: Murphy takes a seat after picking up a foul, no sign of Johnny Drama.

11:52: Notice it’s before noon central time, which I’m almost positive is the time zone that Oklahoma City is located.  I’m just pointing that out because evidently Kevin Harlan is unaware of these facts.

11:53: Black BYU mohawk guy on fire and putting the Cougs on his back.  Taken out of context, that statement makes very little sense and makes Joe Smith spin in his grave.

12:01: It’s just about lunch time and Papa John’s picked a great time to run a commercial.  Between them being in Duke’s region and the promise of cheap pizza, how can we not be huge Louisville fans?

12:02: Nova has 11 points in 13 minutes to start their tournament.  I think I remember them starting slow last year too.  All I’m saying is, don’t rip up your bracket just yet.

12:03: Unless you’re in my pool, then go ahead and concede…it’s the only way I’m winning money this year.

12:06: BYU takes a two point lead to the locker room, which is only newsworthy because we finally get to see a new game…maybe.

12:09: Robert Morris was a merchant and signer of the Declaration of Independence…this could be important later.  Keep it in mind.

12:11: Bill Raftery!  For the first time this tournament, we get announcers who are excited and into the game.  Verne Lundquist was in bed by 7 last night and Raftery is in a constant state of exclamation.

12:13: Greg Anthony confirmed that Nova failed to show up to their first round game last year too and trailed by 14 in the second half to American.

12:17: Robert Morris is up 7 and is the Colonials.  I told you that information would be useful.  Now you know the Robert Morris the school is named for has nothing to do with cigarettes.

12:25: CBS cut away from the final half minute of the first half of the Nova-Morris game, so to kill time…scrolling through the Adult PPV channels!  Cougar Recruits 2?  Down and Dirty Sex! “Women won’t stop until they are satisfied.”  Great stuff…

12:26: “That sounds like a Tiger text”  It’s official, Tiger text is part of the language.

12:31: In other news not involving the NCAA tournament, University of Oklahoma center Tiny Gallon reportedly took $3k from a Merryl Lynch advisor who represents several pro athletes.  Just thought you should know.

12:37: So…apparently Bill Simmons is live blogging the tournament this year as well…I’ll understand if you leave to check that out…do me a favor though and leave a comment promising to come back later, even if you aren’t.

12:39: I tried Bud Light Wheat and wasn’t impressed but I do find the ‘wheat’ in the commercial pretty sexy…see I can say stuff like that now because I assume all the readers went to Simmons.

12:40: BYU’s Cougar mascot wears a headband.  That’s a decision I’d expect from decision makers at BYU.

12:43: Billy Donovan and the Gators finally figured out that they have big guys who are also much quicker and jump much higher than BYU’s defenders.  Sometimes basketball is a simple game.

12:45: All three games that are in progress are close…now that I’ve jinxed it, expect all three to be decided by double digits and the cable will likely go out.

12:46: Eric Murphy has three fouls now, but at least he has Sloane’s fine ass to go home to.

12:50: Ben Hansbrough is lifting Notre Dame over ODU.  Great, an excuse for Kevin Harlan to talk about Tyler Hansbrough.  Remember Tyler Hansbrough…huh, do ya?

12:53: BYU is the first to spread it out to beyond a ten point lead.  JIMMER JUBILEE!

12:58: Apparently, you can bet on the type of mascot that will win it all.  Mammal, human, reptile, bird or other.  I’m taking bird I think.

12:59: The PALM commercial features a song that is either Mos Def, in which case I’m disappointed he sold out, or a guy who sounds a lot like Mos Def, in which case I’m disappointed it wasn’t Mos Def.

1:03: Florida is keeping it close now, which is killing our chances of seeing the Notre Dame-Old Dominion dominus smackdown.  They’re tied at 43 with 3 to play.

1:05: JIMMER!!  Step back three.  Jimmer may well be the most popular baby name in Utah this year.

1:08: ND-ODU inside two minutes and tied.  Come on CBS, gimee some lovin’

1:10: I had to go MMOD to check out this game…the ODU coach has a rockin stache’.  Wish I had known that when I filled out my bracket.

1:12: CBS finally hooked us up and Old Dominion is trying to seal this thing.

1:14: Ugh, CBS switches back and forth between games as seamlessly as an African country switches between dictators.

1:18: Jay Bilas is up-set!  Notre Dame is cheating…Digger Phelps is dancing probably.

1:21: Nevermind, karma came back and screwed the Irish.  I’m off to a good start though, so screw everyone who picked them.

1:25: Florida and BYU go to overtime!

1:28:  More Jimmer can only be a good thing, but the Gators have all the momentum.

1:31: Not looking good for the great white hope…

1:32:  Kevin Harlan just said a Florida pick and roll “evaporated”.  I’m no scientist, but I don’t think that makes literal sense.

1:34:  Velton Jones just fouled out for Rob Morris, yeah, we’re close enough for me to call him Rob.  Still, the Colonials continue to lead Nova.

1:36: Another Colonial is forced to the bench…they’re dropping like, uh, damn, wish I knew about history so I could make a smart Revolutionary War reference here.

1:39: How about another overtime in OKC?  Florida can’t finish off the Cougs…that also was a line from one of those PPV movies we were talking about.

1:41: Kansas State was supposed to be tipping off against North Texas right now but BYU and Florida are hogging the floor like Kirstie Alley hogs anything edible.

1:42: Jimmer gives a nice wave to the home audience as he draws a foul.  SWAGGIN’

1:46: BYU can’t shoot free throws to seal this game and CBS can’t figure out that Rob Morris is tied with Villanova with less than a minute left.

1:47: Hey, welcome to Providence for the Rob Morris game, just in time for a timeout on the floor and a commercial break.  CBS is making some powerful enemies today.  Not me, but somewhere there’s bound to be some powerful people who are super pissed.

1:51:  More overtime action…that makes three total OT periods in three games.  MADNESS!

1:53: BYU is putting this thing away, but are still missing free throws.  That probably makes all the Kansas State fans in attendance pretty damn happy.

1:57:  Mouphtou Yarou is getting the job done at the free throw line and Nova looks like they’ve finally gotten over their hangover.  YAROU!  is actually more fun to exclaim than JIMMER!

1:58: 37 points for the early media favorite Jimmer and BYU is celebrating as white people always do, big smiles, awkward hugs and missed high fives.

2:00: Baylor has tipped against Sam Houston State…one of the group picked the Bears to the Final four and points out they could get home court advantage with games in Houston in the sweet 16 and elite 8.  Then again, so could Sam Houston State.

2:03: Raftery just used to term, ‘tough jack’, the debate rages whether that’s with sandpaper in the palm or just when you’re pressed for time before your roommate walks in.

2:04: ONIONS!  Scottie Reynolds really steps up even though he only has two field goals today.  I’d prefer to have a guy who will score the whole game, thus making a clutch shot against an inferior opponent unnecessary.  I guess I’m old fashioned that way.

2:08: Colonials never say die!  Except, you know, all the colonials who are now, you know, dead.

2:10: Mouphtou “strokes it admirably”.  God love Raftery…

2:13: How much would it cost to hire Raf to announce my next masturbation session?

2:29: Brief break for lunch and unexciting games…

2:29: There was just a lengthy discussion of MTV’s Teen Mom as Baylor played Sam Houston State.  That’s how interesting these games are right now.

2:37: The Mean Green of North Texas are hanging in against Kansas State.  Maybe coach Frank Martin will have the opportunity to ‘choke a bitch’ after all.

2:40: If you’re in the market for getting completely obliterated today, play the Frank Martin drinking game.  Every f-bomb, take a drink.  And cancel your plans for the rest of the day.

2:46: The three guys that CBS has used to assemble a Halftime Show on their MMOD are an interesting group.  Seriously, just load it up.  One guy is wearing David Byrne’s giant suit and the two ‘analysts’ don’t know how to breathe through their nose.

2:56: So…if you want something to keep you entertained until these games reach the final few minutes, check out this site that has every text message Tiger Woods sent to his porn star ho.  It’s dynamite.

http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/03/tiger-woods-wants-to-shove-something-down-this-girls-throat/

3:00: North Texas is a force to be reckoned with…

3:01: actually, this is about the least competitive 7 point game I’ve seen

3:04: Greg Gumble agrees…he’s taking us on a tour of the other action, including Richmond and Saint Mary’s battling it out to a 14-14 tie.

3:06: While we were away, K-State put this game away…sure there’s 7 minutes left in the first half, but it’s done like dinner.  All that’s left is ridiculing the college kids and coaches for their appearances and mannerisms.  An American tradition.

3:09: Every Wildcat has 2 fouls…even if they all foul out, the walk-on scrubs will carry the day over the less than polite Green.

3:22: I’ve never watched ‘Undercover Boss’ but it seems like it would be bad for morale.  Every CEO seems to be clueless about how to do the work they require of their employees.  It’d be like a manager in MLB wanting his team to listen to him but also testing positive for coke.

3:33: Speaking of poor decision making abilities, AJ Ogilvy has a terrible mustache.

3:34: The mustachioed man is taking over the game to try to keep Vandy from getting sent home.

3:39: Murray State and Vandy is coming down to the wire…and of course Gus Johnson is nowhere to be found.

3:40: Murray is an old man’s name… also the name of a NCAA first round winner…ONIONS!

3:43: Faux Pas for the student manager who dogpiled on the Racer players.  He revealed his white socks with black pants and shoes.

3:44: Murray State’s band member cries with joy.  Student paper better run a picture of him as part of the front page story with the headline ‘PUSSY’.

3:48:  Dammit, are we missing Oprah?

3:51: Baylor made it exciting until the national audience joined them.  Now they’re rolling.  F*ck you too, Baylor.

3:53: Well, that seems like as good a spot to end the day as any.  Sorry I didn’t have more enthusiasm today, but blame Saint Patrick.  I wish you terrible fortune in your bracket.

Tags: Live

Green Irish Dump

What happens when you pinch someone wearing green?

Blah blah blah Tiger Woods April 8 blah blah blah media orgasm blah blah.  After all this, if you’re still interested in this story you really, really need to get laid.  Because I just kinda need to get laid, and I don’t give a shit at all.  You must be in bad shape.  <outsidetheboxscore>

Everyone’s bombarding you with stats, figures, formulas and predictions.  So here’s some more.  I call it basketball bukakke.  These are the best backcourts entering the tournament.  <notqualifiedtocomment>

In the Special Olympics, everyone is a winner.  Especially this guy who hit a really great, half-court shot.  Never mind that it came after the buzzer.  They’d quit keeping score anymore anyway.  Stop being such a jerk about this.  <withleather>

Every holiday has lots of stupid t-shirts, and St. Patrick’s day is more the standard than the exception.  So here’s a lot of them.  Oddly enough, most of the people modeling these tired slogans are hot girls.  Strange how that happens.  <saltymilk>

I think Kirstie Alley made a witch really angry.  But the witch wasn’t very good, so when she cast a spell to turn Kirstie into a toad it took a really long time to start working.  But I think it’s getting there now.  <wwtdd>

And here are a bunch of fantasy team and league names.  For you uncreative type out there.  Though I do really like Byrnes When I Peavy.  <fantasyteamnames>

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.  You’re required to get drunk and punch a snake today.  The only Saint who’s miracle is more fake than chasing all the snakes off Ireland is St. George, who you can thank for making dragons extinct.  They should make me a Saint, because I chased all the chupacabra’s out of Poland.  Send story suggestions and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.

Tags: link dump

911 Dispatcher Not An Oregon Fan

Jeremiah Masoli and teammate/accomplice Garrett Embry won’t be playing football for the Oregon Ducks this season after pleading guilty to a second-degree burglary charge.  I don’t really know the law well enough to know why carrying some poor bastard’s TV and laptop out of his home in plain daylight, and in front of the guy no less, isn’t first degree burglary, but whatever.

As you’ll notice in the included video, which is really just about the audio, the 911 call that the victim made just minutes after the theft of his possessions has been made public.  What it doesn’t have is hysterical crying and general freaking out that the beloved 911 calls of the past have had.  What it does have is a pissed off Oregon student with a runny nose and an emergency dispatcher who just doesn’t give a f*ck about Oregon athletics.

I realize it’s probably part of her job to ask for descriptions and everything even when the person on the other end of the phone insists the perpetrator is someone famous, but damn.  When the guy says Masoli is Samoan, why would the dispatcher need any more information?  ’What color is his hair?’  Seriously?  The same color as every other Samoan you’ve ever seen.

I also enjoyed that someone in the background suggests that the authorities get onto the Oregon football Web site if they want to find out what the thieves look like.  It’s like if you were ever raped by a female pornstar…you know, besides in your dreams.  When you reported the crime, you could just say, ‘ok, she was blonde, about 5-foot 3, and you know, just get online and search for ‘Barely Legal Slut Fiesta’.  She’s the one on the cover.’  What a time saver that would be.  That settles it, I only want to be wronged and violated by famous people from now on.  If for no other reason than to save me the time and effort of describing them to the cops.

Bootlegged from Deadspin

Tags: football, Jeremiah Masoli, NCAA, Oregon

St. Patrick’s Day Eve Dump

Hey look! I can pretend this is a sports picture

Jimmy Kimmel and the Legion of Naked Athletes.  Before you get too excited you should know that Chuck Liddel and OchoCinco are prominently featured.  So there’s that.  How did this get at the top of the page?  <outsidetheboxscore>

Because the Raiders added Kamerion Wimberly, they’re now going to be unstoppable.  Just like these new socks are going to get me a date with that hot girl who lives 3 houses down.  She’s never showed any interest in me before, but I’m pretty sure I’ve discovered the missing piece.  <justblogbaby>

If you didn’t see this video already, it’s an unfriendly exchange at a charity event between two of the legends of tennis.  Tennis needs to get out of it’s own ass.  No other sports figures would draw this kind of attention for acting like jackasses, but because both these guys have tied white sweaters around their necks before now it’s shocking.  <neswsports>

Everyone fills out a bracket.  Some people feel strongly enough about their predicting abilities or formula that they post all their reasoning and projections online.  It’s the closest sports blogging can come to being like AM sports-talk radio.  <midwestsportsfan>

Sometimes the true fans out there get so frustrated with their own teams that they have no choice but to attack one or more of the players.  This doesn’t take much in the way of intestinal fortitude if you’re an avid curling fan.  This video, on the other hand, is of an attack on a hockey goalie.  <bigleaguescrew>

In honor of St. Patrick’s Week, here’s a bunch girls doing drunken naughty things.  And depending on how your job views pictures of groping and body-paint-as-apparel, this might be NSFW.  <coedmagazine>

Because Dante’s Inferno seems awfully dated, here are nine real-life circles of hell.  I was once stuck on a cross-Atlantic flight next to a very over-weight, very pungent Frenchman.  In all my years of grossness, I’ve never smelled anything as bad as this man.  Breath, armpits, feet, hair, hands… Name it.  Every time he even turned his head I was almost ill.  That’s just my addition to this otherwise thoughtful list.  <holytaco>

This post couldn’t be any more accurate.  UFC is fun.  Even for people who don’t breath through their mouths and drag their knuckles on the ground.  Sadly, advertisers have yet to figure this out, and thus they make the rest of us look like retards.  Here are the worst offenders.  <filmdrunk>

That’s all for Tuesday.  Drink plenty of fluids today, and try to get to bed early.  You want your liver to be ready for what happens tomorrow.  Send anything relating to anything to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

Tags: link dump

BS March Madness Preview 2010

It's commitment like this that makes Kansas so damn good.

It’s tournament time again and that means it’s once again time for people who have little to no expertise on the subject to tell you, yes you, who to bet on in your bracket.  Last season, Bootlegger Sports proudly brought you a preview of each region with a brief rundown of each team involved.  This year, we got much lazier smarter and will instead bring you some highlights about the teams you need to know about while ignoring the teams who won’t be around long enough to even ogle their cheerleaders.  That might be a good thing actually.  You and I both know that small school cheerleaders rarely bring the hotness.  Well…I know that at least.

The Favorites:

Kansas: The Big 12 champs won’t be tested at all until the Elite Eight when they have a potential match-up with Ohio State or Georgetown.  Until then, their games will be in hand so early you’ll be left to ponder whether or not Bill Self wears a rug.  As a bonus, exclaiming XAVIER (ZAH-vee-yay) promises to be extremely entertaining when I’m 8 beers into a watch party.

Kentucky: Could have problems in a second round meeting with Texas or an Elite Eight showdown with West Virginia.  But, anyone who has followed John Calipari’s teams recently should already know how this is going to play out.  John Wall and company book their trip to the Final Four, then their trip to the NBA Draft, then Coach Cal books his trip out of Lexington when the NCAA uncovers all the dirt.  Sunrise, sunset.

Syracuse: Arinze Onuaku sounds more like a Star Wars character than a basketball player, but it appears the Orange will be without him for the first weekend of the tournament.  Fortunately, ‘Cuse’s first two games will actually be less challenging than pronouncing Arinze Onuaku.  They are ripe for upset though…see what I did there?  Orange…ripe?  OK, moving on.

Duke: The final number one seed is by far the most hate-able, but you have to hand it to Coach K.  He’s got to be the hardest working recruiter in the country.  It can’t be easy to scour the nation for elite white basketball players every year.  The experts are saying the Blue Devils have a relatively easy road to the Final Four, yet not many people are picking them to get there.  Why?  CBS has an agreement with the NCAA that Kyle Singler is too ugly to be featured in ‘One Shining Moment’.

Cinderellas:

Michigan State: Picking against Tom Izzo in March is never a good plan.  The Spartans aren’t particularly…you know…good this year.  Still, they’ve gone far with less in the past and this year’s field is fairly weak overall.  A second round match-up with the tournament player most likely to follow in Ugueth Urbina’s footsteps, Greivis Vasquez, is definitely winnable.

Cornell/Temple: I’m too much of a pussy to actually pick this game for you, but I can tell you with confidence that the winner of this one will have a pretty decent shot at maybe winning their next game or two.  I saw Cornell play once and thought, ‘Jesus, I hope my team doesn’t get matched up with them in the first round.  That’s an embarrassing loss waiting to happen.’  So they have that going for them.  As for Temple, I’ve never seen them play but I saw part of the highlights from one of their games.  I think they have a good Latino player.  This is the kind of in-depth information that wins bracket pools people.  Oh, the winner of this game also plays Wisconsin in the second round and even though everyone likes to rave about the Badgers playing the right way and being fundamentally dynamite, they never go too far in the Dance.

UTEP: They have a short guy who can dunk and a once highly-recruited post player that transferred from Louisville.  Drawing Butler in the first round doesn’t help them much, but they could slip past and into a cakey second round game against Vanderbilt.  Plus, the longer they’re in the tournament, the longer you get to hear their great fight song.  That means the folks at their games who aren’t invested in a specific team will quickly turn to the Miners side, turning San Jose into San Jo-hey, go Miners!  Or something that’s actually clever.

Montana: I would give you Siena here, but everyone is stroking Siena so I’ll give you a huge reach in the Grizzlies.  Note, don’t actually reach in Grizzlies, you’ll lose you’re arm and probably more.  They play New Mexico in round one and while I actually have seen the Lobos play and respect their ability, they’re not the best 3-seed around.  Plus, Montana came back from 20 points down in their conference championship game and had a guy score 40-something points.  They might be confident against all odds at this point.  A second round meeting with Marquette would likely await and that’s not a team that really intimidates you either considering their tallest starter is like 6-4 or something.

The Disappointments:

Ohio State: I actually really like the Buckeyes this year but they don’t have much going on in the post and they have a really terrible draw.  After they cruise past UC Santa Barbara, sorry UCSB, the OSU gets to tangle with either Georgia Tech and their dominant big men, or a OSU, Oklahoma State, and their array of three point marksmen.  Teams that rely on three-point shooting don’t go far in March, but they are capable of getting hot and springing an upset or two.  Plus, tOSU versus OSU seems dangerous.  Like, maybe Oklahoma State will feel disrespected because why aren’t they ‘THE OSU’?  They could draw motivation from that.  Plus, Evan Turner is a great player but his voice freaks me out.  CBS can’t be looking forward to too many interviews with him.

Purdue: This one is a no brainer.  Honestly, they should have been blackballed from the tournament after scoring 11 points in a half against Minnesota in the Big Ten tournament.  Just boot them out, move everyone up a spot and bring on Illinois or Mississippi State.  It does make me nervous that everyone, and I mean everyone, is picking against them in their game against Siena though.  I could see them being that team who everyone writes off and then there’s a puff piece about them having a chip on their shoulder right before they play in the elite eight.  But then, I can also see their mascot dancing around with shirtless homosexuals in that Steel Mill gay bar from ‘The Simpsons’ because my mind is an amazing place.

Kansas State: If this team had drawn, say, Ohio State’s opponents, I’d almost guarantee you they wouldn’t make the elite eight.  But they didn’t and if they can make it by Pittsburgh or Xavier, they can be one of the last teams standing.  I still put them in the disappointment category for two reasons though.  One, I’ve seen too many people expecting them to run to the Final Four.  To those people, I say no.  I get it, the Wildcats have shown an ability to break down the 2-3 zone, which 1-seed in their region, Syracuse, employs.  But, K-State’s guards love to shoot them out of games and their big men love to foul.  Officials in March have a tendency to call games tight, which suggests that Frank Martin will almost definitely experience head explosion syndrome or at least be down to putting in that white guy on the end of the bench.  So, Kansas State will be a disappointment if they don’t make the Final Four, which they won’t.  Two, it will be a disappointment if Frank Martin doesn’t physically assault someone during a game.  Could be a player, opposing player, coach, referee or fan, it just has to be someone.  He wants to do it, but I don’t think this is going to get done.  Thus, disappointment.

Of course, the biggest disappointment, as always, will be that Gus Johnson is announcing too few of the great, close games featuring big shots and buzzer beaters.  CBS should just put that guy in an isolated room with a giant screen and info about every game going on.  Then, when it starts coming down to the wire, they can dub his audio over whoever has been calling the game and America can bask in the glory of his maniacal screams and laughter.

So there you go.  A unresearched and somewhat unbiased preview of March Madness.  You should know that by reading this, you’ve agreed to split any winnings in bracket pools 50/50 with Bootlegger Sports.  Not just this year either…forever.

Tags: basketball, March Madness, NCAA Tournament