This Plan is Foolproof

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It seems like every couple of years, some genius decides that the NFL isn’t a juggernaut and can be competed with.  When asked about it, the business whiz will say “We’re not trying to compete with the NFL” despite the fact that they will try to play the same sport in the same cities at the same time, but with less talent and money.  And apparently, it’s that time again. 

San Francisco investment banker Bill Hambrecht is this year’s edition of the NFL’s murder victim.  He should know better.  He was involved in the USFL that failed after three seasons.  And they had NFL players like Steve Young and played during the NFL’s off-season.  So this brilliant titan of industry assumes doing the opposite of a failed venture will net success.  That actually makes sense because not-raping Marisa Miller hasn’t allowed me to sleep with her, so obviously the opposite will work out beautifully. 

Somehow, the UFL is still raking in money from investors including Nancy Pelosi’s husband and a Google executive.  Even so, they have cut from starting with 8 teams to starting with 4, but they plan on playing in 7 cities.  Now not only are they second rate football teams, but they won’t have a hometown allegiance to get behind them.  After all, the man with two families is never truly home. 

And instead of allowing rich folks to pay $30 million for a franchise, the league will operate all the teams itself.  The MLS did that for a while also, but the primary difference is they weren’t competing with the NFL.  Essentially, the Las Vegas/Los Angeles team will feature a roster with whatever college star wants to bail after his freshman year and will draw 2-thousand more fans than anyone else.  So, uh, 2,500 average attendance. 

The players will also have to endure a gauntlet of a 6-week season.  Wait, is this a college intramural flag football league?  When do we play the Kappas?  Oh…no… that would actually be more interesting.  The UFL is actually just a way to give football players another year of hope before they go to work in a mailroom and a way for people with too much money to throw it away rather than keeping it and saving themselves from a government bailout in 6 months.

Tags: Bill Hambrecht, football, MLS, NCAA, NFL, UFL

1 Comment to This Plan is Foolproof

NESW Sports Headlines 2-10-2009 | NESW Sports, Sports Videos
February 10, 2009

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