NBA Bottom 5

We’ve hit the doldrums of the NBA season.  We’re past the trade deadline and the All-Star break and the excitement of a new season wore off months ago.  Half of the league is already thinking about positioning itself for next year, while the other half is thinking about how to screw the half that’s thinking about next year.  There’s plenty of awfulness to go around this week and don’t worry, there’s no Red Kerr or Larry Miller jokes.

5. Barack Obama- The newly dubbed “First Fan” just had to meet with his Chicago Bulls, regardless of the pain and heartache that would cause.  Because of Obama’s selfishness, Joakim Noah got screwed out of a birthday party.  He was instead forced to spend his off-day with the president.  Noah did get the joy of hurriedly opening presents with his family in the deserted seats of the Nets’ home stadium before being loaded onto a bus.  What more could an NBA superstar and millionaire ask for? 

4. Ron Artest- He called LeBron James “a new and improved version”of Ron Artest.  Improved in what way Ron?  Sure LeBron could end up in the conversation as the greatest of all-time and you… won’t.  And sure he will most likely win a few championships, a few scoring titles, a few MVPs and many other accolades that you…won’t.  But come on, Ron.  Have some self-respect.  I’ve never seen ‘Bron-Bron’ jump into the stands and attack opposing fans. 

3. Channing Frye- He maintains an amazingly nice blog for a player who actually sees the floor quite a bit and this video is laugh out loud funny.  But Frye earns a spot in the Bottom 5 this week for the blatant rip-off of Jim from The Office.  Sorry, Channing, but the old look at the camera and make a goofy face has been copyrighted.  I appreciate that you admit to being mistaken for LaMarcus Aldridge though.

2. The NBA- Have essentially borrowed $200-million to distribute to as many as 12 different teams to help with the costs of being a poorly run franchise.  I know, how can the NBA itself appear in the NBA Bottom 5?  Did I hit on some paradox here or something?  Those with broken brains can call the next lawyer they see in a commercial and set-up a class action lawsuit.

1. Towels- You’re a towel.  Youcost Rasheed Wallace a technical foul, an ejection and nearly a suspension.  Now people are coming out of the woodwork saying ‘Sheed needs to get dumped in Detroit.  What do you have to say for yourself.  No, that’s not the theme to Funkytown.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bottom 5, Channing Frye, Chicago Bulls, Joakim Noah, LaMarcus Aldridge, LeBron James, NBA, Rasheed Wallace, Ron Artest

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