Kansas City Fans Prepare To Riot

Tyler Thigpen impersonates Kansas City government
Kansas City sports fans are among the most loyal in the nation. I mean, the few that are left must be incredible if they’re willing to continue cheering for teams with no hope of winning. Don’t let the title fool you either, fans won’t be rioting after a Cinderella type run for a championship, but rather they’ll be rioting after an Art Modell type run to a different city. Thanks to budget issues and the mayor’s new plan to alleviate them, the Chiefs and Royals could be out of Kansas City faster than they are eliminated from the playoffs.
The city of Kansas City needs $85 million by the end of the month. I’m not sure what happens if they don’t get it by then, but let’s assume the city will cease to exist and residents will be exiled like the villains in Superman 2.
Part of the mayor’s proposal to raise the needed funds is to not pay $2 million to the Truman Sports Complex, which houses both professional franchises. Failure to pay that money breaks the leases held by the Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium and the Royals at Kauffman Stadium and allows them to bolt freely if they choose to do so.
I’m not really great at deciphering all the political mumbo-jumbo so I tuned out halfway through the article and remembered how I use to do the same thing in government and civics classes, so I might be a little off here. I’m pretty sure the Royals and Chiefs will be free to go to another city though, but I’m not sure they will.
KC boasts a population of under half-a-million, but there is over 2-million people in the metro area. There might be a slightly bigger fanbase elsewhere, and neither team has built a new stadium recently, but there’s no way this is happening.
I would compare this situation to that of a domesticated bird. Without leases, the cage is open and these teams are free to fly away, but they won’t do it. Kansas City would have to hit them with a newspaper or something to shoo them away, and even then they’d still probably come back a few minutes later. Maybe if Las Vegas built a giant seed bell… oh sorry, I got lost in the metaphor.
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