Lane Kiffin Hates A Working Man

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 | Dylan
Alshon practices his V for Valero

Alshon practices his 'V' for Valero

First year Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin has wasted no time establishing himself in the SEC.  In a conference full of suspiciously sleazy coaches, he’s slimed his way near the top without ever coaching a game.  The NCAA is already sniffing around Knoxville after some minor infractions, so Kiffin decided to turn his attention away from recruiting violations and start hurling insults

The Vols’ Coach told a South Carolina wide receiver commit that he would “end up pumping gas” if he decided to play for the Gamecocks.  Amazingly, that ploy didn’t sway the young man’s commitment. 

Alshon Jeffery, the insulted prospect, declined to inform the coach that he planned to major in Gas Pumping at South Carolina and dreamed of opening his own full-service station upon graduation.  A better plan for Kiffin may have been to threaten that Jeffery would never be qualified to pump gas with an education from South Carolina. 

The word is that Steve Spurrier promised to allow Jeffery to fill his cars with gas and perform routine maintenence on them.  It wasn’t until the Ol’ Ball Coach handed Jeffery his very own squeegee that the high school star signed with the Gamecocks. 

Though he couldn’t convince this particular recruit to become a Volunteer, Kiffin has already turned his attention to the next big thing.  He’ll be visiting a 325-pound defensive tackle recruit, whose life’s ambition is to wind up homeless.  Nobody tell Coach Kiffin.

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