Tony Zendejas’ Excellent Acquitted Adventure

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 | Dylan
Heres Tony before he joined Wild Stallions

Here's Tony before he joined 'Wild Stallions'

Former NFL kicker Tony Zendejas got himself into quite a pickle, recently.  You may remember Zendejas from his time with the Rams, Falcons or 49ers, but if you’re like me you remember him as the kicker for the Houston Oilers on Tecmo Super Bowl.  God bless you, Zendejas.  You were always ready to tack on the PAT after yet another Warren Moon touchdown strike. 

Now then, where was I?  Oh right, that pickle I mentioned involved Tony drugging and raping a woman.  But it’s OK because he’s been acquitted of all charges.  Thanks for hanging around during the boring part of the story.  Now I can tell you about the exciting events that led to the acquittal. 

Zendejas owns the restaurant where he allegedly got a woman so drunk she was willing to have sex with Tony Zendejas.  That fine establishment is located in the beautiful city of San Dimas, California, better known as the home of Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire

If you aren’t familiar with Bill and Ted, go buy the DVD and experience the American Classic before continuing your reading.  GO NOW! 

For the rest of you cultured individuals, Tony Zendejas could not have beaten the charges brought against him without help from a certain time traveling phone booth.  Reportedly, he not only had time to go back and recover the needed evidence to prove his innocence, but he also went back to 1989 and told himself to save his money.  While he was there, he advised Keanu Reeves to continue with his acting classes.  Young Keanu did not listen. 

We may never know how much Zendejas’ time traveling has impacted history.  We do know one thing for certain.  After clearing his name, Tony’s trip was an awesome adventure and not a bogus journey.

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