Orioles’ Announcers Have Things To Do

See? If your team is good, drink beer... also don't leave

Every now and then, I’ll be sitting around with a few people watching TV when some asshole flips to pre-season baseball.  Exhibition games in any sport are unwatchable, but going from the excitement of March Madness to the slow, dullness of pre-season MLB is like going from Marisa Miller to Jennifer Aniston.  Sure, there might be some appeal there, but it/she is so damn boring and certainly not in it’s/her prime.  You don’t have to agree with me, but the Orioles’ radio announcers do. 

Fred Manfra and Joe Angel took the opportunity of a 90-minute rain delay to escape a spring training game and never come back.  The duo were calling the game for a Baltimore area station, but assumed the game was cancelled when rain halted play after the 1st inning.  I’m sure they had more important things to do, like anything not involving exhibition baseball, but where’s the professionalism?

I’ve announced some baseball and the code of conduct during a rain delay is simple.  If you work for a good team, challenge the opponents’ announcers to a beer drinking contest.  If you work for a bad team, switch to rum.  If it’s spring training, shoot whiskey.  If it’s Orioles’ spring training, play Russian roulette. 

None of those options include leaving the ballpark.  What kind of radio personalities pass up an opportunity for open air time anyway?  A rain delay just gives these blow-hards a chance to ramble about whatever topic they see fit until the game starts again or until someone at the station finally pulls the plug.  The goal is always to toe the line of decency, inciting an FCC investigation but never actually getting fined.  Innuendos, puns and non-sensical comparisons and anecdotes are all fair game.  Comments like ‘I tried to come in the backdoor but got thrown out at home faster than a rooster walks past the hen-house on egg harvest day’ are typical. 

The idea is to keep your audience on board until the rain subsides.  Of course, if your announcers jump ship, that’s harder to do with dead air.  Well, people willing to listen to pre-season Orioles’ games probably wouldn’t notice the difference anyway.

Tags: Baltimore Orioles, baseball, MLB

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