Only 6 Days Left To Get Fired In New York

Buster Bison wishes he were unemployed with free tickets

The triple-A Mets affiliate Buffalo Bisons have announced a plan to ease the pain of the thousands of unemployed upstate New Yorkers.  They’re giving away 4 free tickets to their home opener to anyone that can prove they’ve been laid off.  Unfortunately, that means an official document regarding their unemployment benefits, not the stench that comes with not showering for weeks or a letter that says their spouse has left them. 

I’ve been crunching the numbers on this and I think it’s going to be a tight squeeze at Coca-Cola Field this Thursday.  There are more than 1.2-million residents in the Buffalo-Niagra area alone and the unemployment rate is nearly 10-percent.  The Bisons’ stadium seats 19,500.  My conclusion is some of you unemployed people are going to get the same treatment from the Bisons as you’ve been getting from potential employers.  ‘The position of seat filler has been filled.’

I realize not all of the 1.2 million local residents are counted in figuring the unemployment rate, but you have to realize how desperate poor people are.  I’ll wait in line for an hour for a $1 beer at my local ballpark on Thirsty Thursday, imagine what I’d do if I didn’t have to pay for that costly $8 ticket.  And in New York, where the cost of living is high, I’d be shocked if people weren’t willing to kill for the chance at a free night out of the house.  They’ll be more desperate to find fun than a divorced Dad on his one weekend a month with his kids.  Actually, those guys will probably be at the game too. 

And I know the Bisons are just trying to help in these tough economic times, but if you owned a business that severely needed to cut costs, but you’d been putting it off, wouldn’t you take this opportunity to start axing? 

‘Jenkins, I know you’ve been with this company for 25 years and you’ve done some great work, but times are hard and we have to tighten our belts.  I just can’t afford to keep you on any longer.  Don’t cry Jenkins, we’ve got a severance package that should help you stay on your feet.  Please accept these 4 complimentary tickets to tonight’s minor-league baseball game.  Don’t thank me, they were free.’

Tags: baseball, Buffalo Bisons, minor league

1 Comment to Only 6 Days Left To Get Fired In New York

Craig
April 7, 2009

Yaaaaaaay Thirsty Thursdays!!!!

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