Andre Ethier Doesn’t Like This

"No kid. You can't get your picture taken with me. Fuck."

So the Dodgers recently had an event called “Photo Day at Dodger Stadium,” where fans got to go onto the field, talk to the players, and get their pictures taken with them.  Pretty cool idea, and a great experience for kids no doubt.  Until Andre Either walks past that is.

Apparently he’s been reading the Barry Bonds Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Fans, because every time someone (most of them children) asked to take a picture with him he responded with: “I don’t do pictures.  No myspace or facebook pictures.”

Umm… really?  That afraid of having your picture on facebook?  You’d think there must be some sort of logical explanation for this kind of strange behavior.  Diamond Notes will relieve you of such thoughts:

“Ethier fears such photos could be used against him, especially on the Internet.  He also read about a basketball player last year being extorted (he forgot who it was, but he probably meant Terrell Brandon).  It sounds unlikely, but Ethier noted that in tough economic times, people can get desperate.”

Yep.  I’m sure all those kids and fans with his jersey on really have it out for him.  The entire time that all of his teammates were taking pictures with the loving fans and babies Andre could proudly think to himself “suckers.  They’re so gonna get it.” 

His strategy for remaining low profile seems to be working too.  You certainly won’t find anything written about Andre Ethier on sites like this.  This kind of behavior isn’t going to prompt bloggers to suggest that he loves himself so much that strokes off while looking into the mirror, or that he uses his own urine as cologne. 

Just for fun, here are some of the fans that must have ruined his life by putting their pictures with him online last year.  Take your ire out on them Dodger fans.  It’s all their fault.  Especially the ones in the Children’s Hospital.  Good thing he won’t have to suffer through that ever again.

Tags: Andre Ethier, Barry Bonds, baseball, douchebaggery, Los Angeles Dodgers, MLB

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