MLB and Bobby Jenks Have a Puss-Off

What's worse? Bobby's pink chin hair or bitch tits?

So the big news item in baseball today is what the MLB’s response will be to Bobby Jenks’ admission that he intentionally threw behind a batter. 

“I meant to.  To send a message.  Basically I was saying, ‘I’m sick of seeing our guys get hit and hurt and almost get taken out of the game.’  I threw it with intention”

That sounds pretty hardcore badasstically awesome all by itself.  But that’s where proper context steps in and slimes everything up.  This ”message” he threw behind Ian Kinsler’s ass.   Not his head, upper back, nor anything remotely threatening, but behind a big fleshy lump of fat with zero likelihood of an injury.

But of course only an asshole would try to injure a fellow player who wasn’t the direct target of retaliation.  So if Bobby was trying to hit him in the ass, then maybe he’s not such a pussy after all.  What’s that you say?

Jenks said he had no intention of hitting Kinsler, especially in a one-run game.  “I’m not going to put a guy on in that situation.  I was not going to hit him.  I made my point with that pitch and it came across the way I wanted it to.”

So the message sent was that Jenks will avenge his battered teammates and ward off future bean balls by intentionally missing his target while at the same time throwing in an area that every batter ever would rather be pegged in than any other?  That’s the guy I’d want watching my back in a fight.  Boy howdy.

The best part is that the MLB, not to be out pansied, is considering suspending Bobby for intentionally not hitting a guy in the ass.  Just because he was honest about it.  After they reach this conclusion they’ll undoubtedly ponder whether or not to dress the players like the girls from “A League of Their Own.”

Here’s to Jonathan Broxton’s naked thighs.

Tags: baseball, Bobby Jenks, Chicago White Sox, Ian Kinsler, MLB

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