The Yankees Garage Sale is Open

Where can I buy the hearts that got ripped out by the Red Sox?

Yankee Stadium hosted some great moments in MLB history and the franchise closed the doors with class.  Now, they’ve started pissing on the respectable old building by disassembling and auctioning it off piece by piece. 

You want some dirt or some sod?  No problem.  How about a chunk of the foul pole?  They’re working on it.  They’ll sell you your seats, or someone else’s seats, doors from the clubhouse or even desks.  I haven’t seen it listed, but you could probably also get your hands on carpet, phones and a rat that’s been inhabiting the place.

There’s been plenty of interest generated in the pieces up for auction, mostly by former players.  That’s likely because they’re the only ones who can afford such extravagance.  If you want to own the seats where you’ve had season tickets for the past few years, it’ll cost you $2-grand.  Or, you could just get 2 random seats for $1500.  What a steal.  $80 will get you a small patch of freeze-dried grass.  Don’t worry, you can still plant it and let it disappear and die with the rest of your grass, or you can keep it on display.  For 80-bucks, you should be able to fashion a trendy merkin out of it. 

You can get a brick from Monument Park for $149 or you could just wait until they demolish the stadium and grab a brick for free. 

It’s a similar story with dirt.  You can either shell out $80 for a commemorative crystal containing dirt from the infield, or go scoop up some dirt with bonus debris after the implosion.  Or, a third option, send me $30 and I’ll send you back dirt that may or may not be from Yankee Stadium.  It doesn’t come in a crystal, but the Ziploc bag features futuristic ‘blue and yellow makes green’ technology.

Even though there are no doubt some Yankee fans drooling over the chance to own part of the stadium that hosted their heroes, everything still seems incredibly over-priced.  But, I suppose this way ensures that no Red Sox fan will buy the artifacts to use for his dog’s toilet.

Tags: baseball, MLB, New York Yankees

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