South Carolina Doesn’t Suck, Gets Cocky

It's not nearly as impressive until you see it in print
If you were asked to name the best collegiate athletic departments in the country, how long would you have to go before you mentioned the University of South Carolina? An hour? A day? To put it another way, South Carolina isn’t one of the leaders in merchandising sales because of their athletic prowess. Their hats say ‘Cocks’ on them. Come on, how is anybody but Moorhead State supposed to compete with that?
That’s not to say that the Gamecocks are bad in any particular sport, just that they’re incredibly average. Their football team went 7-6 this season, losing their last 3 games, including an Outback Bowl loss to Iowa. Their men’s basketball team finished 21-10 but lost their first SEC tournament game and their first NIT game. Their baseball team is 38-21 and the second seed in their regional. Wait a minute, they’re all over .500, cue the band and release the balloons!
It seems The State newspaper in South Carolina thought this incredible triple-feat warranted a quarter page ad to commemorate the occasion. Incidentally, this is the first time all three of those teams have finished better than even since joining the SEC in 1991. Dear God, if one of those teams actually wins a post-season tournament, The State might just burn the campus to the ground. Of course, then they’d have to run a quarter-page ad celebrating how flammable the Columbia campus is.
Seriously though, congratulations Gamecocks. You’ve finally achieved what only 50 or so programs achieve every year. And congratulations also is in order for The State newspaper for ensuring that people across the country are aware of just how mediocre their University is.
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