Tony Parker Was Asking For It

Maybe if you watered the lawn less, you could've caught the thief

A thief made off with an autographed Michael Jordan jersey that belongs to San Antonio spurs point guard Tony Parker last month.  I can only assume the jersey was the back-up plan after Eva Longoria was either too much of a headache to move or was nowhere in sight.  A man suspected of the robbery is in police custody and it turns out NBA steals leader Chris Paul didn’t do it.  That would have been too perfect. 

Christopher James Carolan was arrested in connection with another burglary, for which he had an outstanding warrant.  Based on his life of crime, I’m guessing he’s not heir to the Carolan’s Irish Cream fortune.  He is, however, a man with a warrant out for his arrest that still managed to get hired to work security on a millionaire’s home.  So what’s your excuse, America’s unemployed?

While he may be a whiz in job interviews, Carolan is clearly not an expert fencer.  He was caught when authorities discovered a listing for the stolen jersey on Craigslist.  Wait, the cops found out about Craigslist?  Damn it, that’s going to put a dent into the ol’ prostitution ring.  Well girls, get back to your corners.

I think we can all agree that Tony Parker should pay closer attention to who he allows in and near his home.  He has thousands of dollars worth of memorabilia, probably some other nice things and a hot piece of ass living there.  On second thought, maybe he should keep hiring crooks.  I’ve been meaning to visit San Antonio.

Tags: basketball, NBA, San Antonio Spurs, Tony Parker

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