Back to Hazell Tuesday Dump

She should be a CIA Interrogator. I'd sell out all my buddies in seconds.

This is like a real-life Ralph from the Simpsons.  I like that they gave him a sucker so he’d shut the hell up.  <homework4dummies>

Now Brandon Marshall is making a big stink about getting out of Denver.  When bad news about Denver breaks, I find the best place to get an assessment of the situation is a Kansas City Chiefs blog.  <arrowheadaddict>

Scott Van Pelt is the new voice of EA Sports Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10.  By no means does this mean I’ll be buying, playing, or watching someone else play this game, but the commercials are damn funny.  Here’s a bunch of them back to back.  <neswsports>

Speaking of golf and announcers, Chris Berman solemnly swears not to tell jokes while announcing the U.S. Open.  This is a response to a lot of golf fans bitching and moaning about him.  I don’t know if this is because Chris Berman doesn’t have the ability to be funny, or because golf fans generally have large vegetables snugly placed in their rectums.  I’m going with both.  <thebiglead>

A Detroit sports fan ventured to that paradise that is Pittsburgh for some heavy drinking, and to watch the Redwings and Tigers crush his dreams.  His bitter disappointment and deep inner sadness make for a great read.  <detroit4lyfe>

Speaking of trips that could have gone better, here’s a list of mistakes not to make in Vegas.  Sadly there’s nothing in there about avoiding that tall chick with the big hands, or what to do when the ass you just pulled asks for $250.  <paneech>

Clay Zavada’s mustache deserves your respect.  So does his his 0.00 ERA as a rookie.  <morehardball>

Apparently something interesting happened on that show that shall not be named.  It makes me sad that Artie Lang and Paul Rudd agreed to be on this abortion.  I have no idea what happened, and unless the teaser is something along the lines of ”Joe Buck Beheaded on Live TV” I never will.  But here’s the video in case you want to watch.  Sigh.  <awfulannouncing>

Send story ideas and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.  Since the discovery of Keeley Hazell my showers have run a bit long, so every little bit helps. 

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