Jose Canseco Makes A Good Point

Blackballed? Is that a literal, physical side-effect from steroids?

Have you ever wondered why Jose Canseco isn’t in the Baseball Hall of Fame?  Or why he has never been offered a managerial or coaching job in professional baseball?  If you said no, then you must not be Jose Canseco.  It also probably means you have a fully functioning brain. 

Canseco has decided to file a class action lawsuit against MLB and the MLBPA because he has been “blackballed” and is losing money due to not being offered jobs in baseball and not getting public appearance fees by being a Hall of Famer.  Uhhh, what?  Canseco is even reportedly asking Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa to join the suit.  I bet those guys jump on-board because if there’s any way to undue all the damage you’ve done to your reputation, it’s to associate yourself with Jose Canseco.  I guess by contrast, every one looks honorable in Jose’s company… maybe he should be a defense attorney. 

I realize MLB isn’t too worried about losing this case, but wouldn’t it be great to see them relent.  I want them to settle out of court and allow Canseco to be inducted into the Hall of Fame and encourage franchises to interview him for jobs.  Then, I’d like them to issue press releases every time he’s passed over for another position and every time another Hall of Famer is selected for a public appearance instead of him. 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Jose Canseco was not hired today as the new manager of the Texas Rangers double-A affiliate.  Though he did interview, the team’s front office personnel insist that they brought him in to settle a bet.  The team’s owner reportedly believed Canseco to be dead and his presence means the team will give away free hot dogs on opening day. 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Jose Canseco never left his house today after being receiving no offers to appear or speak in public.  A card show paid Hank Aaron to sign autographs in his area and a Little League brought in Ozzie Smith to speak to children, but Canseco’s phone never rang.  There has also been no word back from the Washington Nationals after he inquired about becoming their new General Manager. 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Jose Canseco’s life is exactly the same 12-months after he settled with MLB and the MLBPA on a class action lawsuit allowing him to no longer be blackballed from professional baseball.  He continues to be reduced to cheap publicity stunts and is still the sleazy piece of garbage you remember.  Go fuck yourself, Canseco.  You lose.

Best press release ever?  Best press release ever.

Tags: baseball, douchebaggery, Jose Canseco, MLB, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa

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