No More Smash and Dash :’-(

The Incredibly Stupid Bond is Broken

Chris Johnson informed nobody in particular today that the Tennessee Titans’ “Smash and Dash” duo is no more.  Not because he’s quitting the team or anything relevant or real like that.  He’d never have anything of importance to bother you with.  He just wanted to let the world know that he’ll be dropping his half of the nick name he and the fat retard stole from the Panthers last October. 

But hold your horses everyone.  The nobody-cares-dumbshit-ride isn’t over yet.  Johnson has a new nickname to try out on you.

“‘Smash and Dash’ have had a divorce.  That’s official.  I have to be my own guy, so no more ‘Smash and Dash’.  That was last year.  ’Every Coach’s Dream,’ that’s me.  Because they say every team has its own identity. I feel for me, I can’t be noticed as a group any more.  I am my own guy.”

Wait, wait wait… … Every team… Own identity… me, I, group…. I am my own guy… Wha..?  But… That doesn’t even make any… Fuck he’s dumb.  I hope East Carolina is really proud of their academics.  Considering they’re named after a state that isn’t, I doubt they’ll see anything wrong with Mr. Johnson’s soliloquy.

But I digress.  He’s calling himself “Dream”.  That’s really special.  Maybe LenDale can dump Gatorade all over himself before every game and go as “Wet.”  Or he can dance around real happy like and go as “Gay”. 

I think I’ll just continue to refer to him as “Awful Fantasy Pick” and leave it at that.

Tags: Chris Johnson, douchebaggery, East Carolina, football, LenDale White, NFL, Tennessee Titans

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