On the Tube: Worse Than the NBA Draft

This is cool, and the fans still look bored.

Here’s your shit-tastic list for the night.  I’d apologize, but if they’re not going to pretend to try to put something decent on, I’m certainly not going to put any effort into this.  Besides, I’ve got bigger fish to fry.  Sexier fish too.  (All times CDT)

2009 NHL Entry Draft  6:00 VS:  As the title suggests, possibly the only thing worse than watching the NBA Draft.  I don’t understand why they even televise this.  Isn’t there a high school swim meet or competitive lawn mowing going on somewhere?

U.S. Outdoor Championship  7:00 ESPN:  My TV said this was track and field.  But then the info button didn’t mention any events.  I’m about as likely to look it up and find out as I am to watch it, so there you go.  It beats watching the NHL Draft.

2009 ESPY Nomination Special  7:00 ESPN2:  It’s called “special” because that’s what you’d have to be to enjoy this.  Basically this is ESPN’s stroke-fest fore-play.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America  8:00 USA:  Possibly the most uncomfortable movie ever made.  Every time I’ve seen it I laugh until I cry, but I also have to look away at least a dozen times.

Farrah’s Story  8:00 NBC:  You know, it’s totally inappropriate to even attempt to jerk off to this.  How could you even think such a thing.  Ass hole.

Boxing: Jacobs vs Walton  9:00 ESPN2:  From Tuscon, Arizona.  Boxing.  And that’s about all I can tell you about this.  Boxing isn’t bad background TV.  Play some cards or ping pong in the garage or something, turn on the fight and hope there’s an awesome knock out you can watch the instant replay of.

Tags: On the Tube

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