Angry Grumbling Monday Dump

Keeley always knows how to cheer me up. Her secret is being topless.

Brandon Inge hits 9th inning homers, Jose Valverde assumes the position.  <detroit4lyfe>

The Pacers are undergoing a whitewashing?  Are you trying to say that the state of Indiana is full of a bunch of back-woods, racist, redneck dickheads who will only support an NBA team that likes country music and drag racing?  Oh you weren’t?  Then I will.  <fansided>

Lou Piniella isn’t going to sugar coat it for you Milton.  You aren’t a frosted turd, you’re a genuine piece of shit.  <morehardball>

Do you know what 28 different beautiful topless women with nothing but sand on their chests looks like? I do.  (I also don’t think this link is SFW, so be warned.)  <coedmag>

This really does look like a 3-year-old operating heavy construction equipment.  Maybe it’s just a white Gary Coleman.  I don’t know, but it’s really weirding me out.    <holytaco>

See, Andy Roddick shits his pants too, guys.  He just probably didn’t do it while buying a 30-pack of High Life at Walmart half an hour from home.  It was a rough weekend.  <thebiglead>

Inside a programming meeting at the Versus Network:  “You know what the only problem with ESPN’s Around the Horn is?  Their guests generally have a pretty good idea what they’re talking about and are semi-professionals.  What if we do a knock off of that, but instead of experts, have retard fans yell incoherent things at each other?”  “You’re fucking brilliant Michaels.”  <sportsbybrooks>

Send story ideas and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.  Also, it’s a good idea to keep a pair of clean shorts and underpants in the trunk of your car.  You know, because sometimes it soaks through, like, immediately.  FML.

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