13-Year-Olds Are So Hot Right Now

'To Catch A Predator' was probably already focusing on SEC country

I realize the FBI and Chris Hansen are likely going to be knocking on my door before long because of that headline, but that just means more publicity for me.  I’m assuming you, like me, would check out a Web site written by someone who media outlets across the country were reporting on for being erroneously picked up for being a pedophile.  That’s right, they’ve got no hard evidence. 

Publicity is what makes the world go round.  And nobody knows that better than Evan Berry, the latest football prospect to commit to Tennessee.  High-school players commit to universities every day and only the highest rated, blue-chip recruits get any ink for it.  With that in mind, it’s important to have a hook, some sort of interesting element that sets you apart from hundreds of other talented athletes.  Berry now has his hook because he’s committed to the Vols at the tender age of 13.  Roughly the same time I won my 43rd Super Bowl on Tecmo Bowl and stopped wetting my pants.  That was a magical summer. 

Many who follow the seamy world of college football recruiting are reporting on Tennessee’s side of this story.  They will tell you about how much press Lane Kiffin’s PR train is going to get for gaining the commitment of an 8th grader.  And they’re right, but do we know for certain that the Volunteers had anything to do withthis decision?  Berry’s brother and father both played at Tennessee and he says “it’s the only college I know right now.”  Obviously, Kiffin’s regime hasn’t paid much attention to NCAA recruiting rules so far, but I would imagine there are some strict ones about contact with a kid who has yet to reach high-school.  You know, just like there are for the rest of us.  It seems entirely possible that Evan Berry made this decision to be a Volunteer voluntarily.  Thank God he didn’t commit to USC, I don’t have any word play prepared for Trojans.  At least none that pertain to this situation.

Berry is getting plenty of attention for his actions, including interviews with national media outlets.  I’m willing to bet that at least tens-of-thousands of people who had never heard of Evan Berry before today will know his name by the end of the week.  And I’m thinking that at least a few of those are college football coaches.  I think this kid just played the media better than Drew Rosenhaus. 

His commitment means nothing right now.  In fact, calling it a commitment seems comically ridiculous.  Even more so than calling college football players ’student-athletes’.  So, essentially, all Berry has done is put his name into the head of every football coach in America without having to send out tape to any of them.  You have to respect that.  

I’m so impressed that I’d like to announce that I will be fore-going what would have been my 3rd senior year of college in order to train and prepare for the 2010 NFL Draft.  Go ahead and run with that story and keep in mind that I’m always available for interviews.

Tags: Evan Berry, football, Lane Kiffin, NCAA, Tennessee

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