On the Tube: Box-Office Poison

Now you've seen the best part of 'Summer Catch'

I know it sounds strange, but the lack of quality programming might be a good thing in the long run.  I’m willing to bet that the ideas behind Netflix and Viagra were hatched at a time like this.  (ALL times CDT)

Summer Catch 6:00 MTV: Jessica Biel is in this movie but rather than waste two-hours of your night, just download a picture of her and hit yourself in the head with a baseball bat while you stare at it.  Trust me, it will be far less painful. 

WNBA Minnesota at Atlanta 6:00 ESPN2: Hahahhaha, it feels good to laugh.

The Superstars 7:00 ABC: A supermodel bitched out T.O. last time, but what are the chances something awesome happens again?  Probably better than the chances of me tuning in to find out. 

Classic Boxing: 1993 Bowe vs. Holyfield 7:00 ESPN Classic: Old-school boxing that doesn’t feature Tyson or Ali is about as exciting as, well, current boxing.

Point Break 7:00 FMC: Keanu Reeves plays an FBI agent who goes undercover as a surfer to stop a crime wave.  Get it, surfer, wave, Keanu, acting, oh it works on so many levels.  I believe this is Keanu’s best work to date, plus it won the academy award for best motion picture about a group of bank-robbing surfers.

Sports Soup & Fanarchy 9:00 and 9:30 Versus: If you need to get rid of a houseguest and are morally opposed to violence, might I suggest tuning in to Versus tonight?

Tags: On the Tube

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