Around the Leagues

Quenching Your Thirst for the Greatest News in Sports

Here’s another experiment.  General idiocy mixed with ADD makes for fragmented thought processes.  This is the result.  Note that some of these sports don’t have leagues, per say, but I doubt that’s anyone’s biggest issue with this Web site. 

Baseball: If J.C. Romero wants to convince anyone he’s off the juice, he should probably stop having roid-rage-esque altercationsthat lead to battery charges.  To be fair the douchebag fan deserved the open-palm slap he received, but what’s truly amazing is that this didn’t happen in Philadelphia.

Antonio Bastardo is going to the DL.  Not that this is news or anything, it’s just noteworthy any time the word Bastardo is in a headline. 

Swimming:  A female swimmer’s suit ripped right up the ass crack today in Italy.  I don’t know what’s funniest: The picturesof her ass hanging out, the fact that she got disqualified to add insult to embarrassment, how sad she looks, or making Flavia Ass jokes.  I think it’s Flavia Ass jokes. 

Basketball:  Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder is hosting a basketball camp for about 350 kids.  It costs $199 to send your kid here, but there are some scholarships available to “Urban League of Greater Oklahoma City.”  You think it’ll be hard to pick out the scholarship kids?  I don’t.  They’ll be the ones who can actually ball…

Football:  And Rape!  They go together so often don’t they?  Except this story’s about a player getting raped with a broom and a banana by other players back in 1999.  Why is it news today?  Because he is just now suing over it.  A quote from the victim:  “I don’t trust anyone anymore.”  I’m guessing this means he’s kinda jumpy.  It probably also means he screams like a child and runs, arms flailing, as fast as he can whenever anyone starts sweeping anything.  Or eating bananas.  This poor bastard.  I hope he gets like $100 million.  In tribute to his corn hole:  <youtube>

Boxing:  Former lightweight title holder, Alexis Arguello, was found dead today in Nicaragua, after being shot in the chest.  The Party radio is reporting it looks like a suicide, but considering he was elected mayor of Nicaragua’s capital city, it’s not beyond the realm of possibilities that foul play was involved.  Politics in Central America are far more dangerous than a career in boxing.  People just commit suicide down there all the time.  Usually with multiple gunshots to the back of the head.

Tags: Around the Leagues, J.C. Romero, Kevin Durant

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