Around the Leagues: July 2

Football:  Another NFL player caught for doping.  Yawn.  The national sports media (* cough ESPN cough cough*) is too busy pouring over a highly-suspect list of potential dopers in baseball from over 6 years ago to pay too much attention to any actual PEDs in other sports.  Yes, Calvin Pace becomes the 3rd Jets player in under a year to receive a suspension for doping.  The moral outcry?  The concern for the history of the game?  The anger about cheating and the message being sent to our kids?  The supposed refection of our entire civilization?  Nope.  Wait for Manny to take the field in San Diego if you want all that horse shit.  The complete disinterest in this story by the same people that crucify baseball players is doing far more damage to the image of honest journalism than steroids have to the modern image of the MLB.

Baseball:  The umpires for this year’s All Star Game were announced today.  To which every umpire not included in the Mid Summer Classic laughed derisively and finalized those reservations at the time shares in Aspen and Maui.  The sad, sad losers in baseball’s annual shit-parade lottery are  Dana DeMuth at home, Brian Gorman at first, Jeff Kellogg at second, Angel Hernandez at third, and Tim Timmons in right field and Paul Nauert in left.  A moment of silence for these poor fucks. 

The Texas Rangers have always been renowned for making great decisions.  Their rich, intellectual legacy includes being owned by George W. Bush, signing Chan Ho Park to a monstrous contract, trading Chris Young, Adrian Gonzalez, Carlos Pena, Edinson Volquez, etc. etc.  Hell, they’re still paying A-Rod to play in New York.  And now they can’t afford to do that anymore.  It’s being reported that the club has had to borrow $15 million from MLB just to meet payroll.  Are we sure “W” isn’t still running the team?

Basketball:  The new Nike Jones Beach Air Force Ones are out, and gosh, you better hurry.  They’re almost all gone!  Oh no!  Who the hell wants an over-priced pair of basketball shoes named after something you’ve never heard of?  People from Long Beach do.  That’s who.  And recession be damned, they’ll pay $150 for them too.  Now to figure out how this country got so far into debt…

Soccer:  The former captain of the Romanian team has admitted to being a weasel-douche-bag informant to the secret police controlled by the now-deposed dictator.  After denying it and accusing the journalists who uncovered his treachery liars, the shit-eater has been forced to admit that he has a reserved room in the deepest layer of hell.  Wait, actually he is claiming he wrote only nice things about the people he helped send to political prisons/death camps.

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