Jay Cutler Thinks He’s Better Than Mannings

Monday, July 6th, 2009 | Robbie
This image bootlegged from the future

This image bootlegged from the future

Maybe he didn’t actually come out and say he was better than Eli and Peyton, but Jay Cutler has absolutely implied it.  By refusing to be in commercials, do extensive interviews, and generally keeping his fat face off Chicago TV screens and magazines, Cutler is saying that you can’t completely focus on football if you’re too busy being a prima donna.

“With all the excitement that’s happened so far, there have been a lot of endorsement opportunities.  But I’ve kind of steered clear of those because I haven’t even stepped on the field yet.  I’m trying to take care of that before I step into that realm.”

See?  It isn’t that he couldn’t be doing commercials right now or anything like that.  There are a lot of places that would love a dorky, fat, diabetic white guy badly reading their pitches and messing up lines in their commercials.  Just like I could absolutely be getting dates right now if I wanted to.  I turn them down even.  I just need to focus on this blog… and my… ..my… um … my porn collection?  Hobbies!

So here’s a couple things you won’t see the vaunted Bears quarterback doing for quite some time.  By choice.  I’m sure Peyton was the backup for these spots, after Mastercard begged and pleaded with Mr. Personality.  I didn’t know that the pancreas produced insulin and a sense of humor.  All I know is that Cutler’s is broken.

 

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