Stand Up For Men’s Rights

With no men in the stadium, who will make asses of themselves?

Minor League baseball team, the Hudson Valley Renegades, employ mostly men, but apparently have no respect for us.  They hatched an idea for a promotion called “Ball-Less Baseball”, where men were asked to stay in the parking lot until the 5th inning and women would be treated to massages, make-up and manicures.  Sure, those sound like girly things, but what of our homosexual and metrosexual brethren.  Gender pride engage!

For years, we proud males have sat idly by and watched as we were forced to pay covers while the so-called fairer sex was comped.  That doesn’t sound too fair to me.  We’ve paid more for beer, we’ve been socially obligated to hold doors and been arrested when we punch back in a fight.  But now, this minor league franchise has gone too far.  Thankfully, the officials in Dutchess County, New York, owners of the ballpark, have our broad, hairy backs. 

They’ve warned the team that their promotion likely violates the New York State Human Rights Law and possibly the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.  Rather than looking up the Constitution, I’ll just guess that the 14th Amendment equates to ‘you must respect the cock, always respect the cock’. 

Let this be a lesson to you ladies.  If you want to be equal, be prepared to pay to get into the strip club and prepared to hear your male friends fart and discuss what it would take for them to not want to have sex with Megan Fox.  Like, what if she had Hepatitis or has been legally dead for 10 minutes?

If you would like to keep your fantasy world of free drinks, courteous gentleman and reciprocating oral, then you may have to give up the right to drive.  Sorry, but you’re the ones who don’t really want to be equal and this is really for the safety of the world.

Tags: baseball, douchebaggery, minor league

No comments yet.

Leave a comment