Who Else Wants To Bilk The Saints?

Shockey's so hard up he can't even afford a shirt

A few weeks ago, the New Orleans Saints decided to cut their deep snapper loose.  Nobody cared.  Quick, name one long snapper in the history of professional football.  Yeah.  One name may soon have a place in history, but not for any on-the-field exploits.  The former Saints snapper, Kevin Houser, might have been cut loose in part because of an investment deal gone bad that cost several members of the franchise a lot of money.  If you’re like me, you hate a guy that encourages someone to invest in something and then you end up out money, but in this case Jeremy Shockey lost $80-grand, so Houser gets a free pass. 

Despite Houser’s ouster (a possible name for Kevin’s garage band?), Shockey remains upset and wants everyone to know it.  For me, I’d like to think I’d keep quiet on a deal that lost me $80-thousand, especially if I didn’t even know what I was investing in, but we’ll get to that later.  Shockey is likely upset that money that could’ve been used for a new wardrobe of cut-off Harley Davidson t-shirts featuring bald eagles has been wasted.  $80-thousand for redneck apparel and accessories?  That sounds about right. 

Now, remember when I questioned whether Shockey was really even aware of what he was investing in?  It was about 4 lines ago, if you don’t remember you may want to cut back on the alcohol abuse.  He revealed his ignorance on, of all places, his Twitter account.  I know, right?  How could some lumbering dumb ass be using that meeting place of the minds for something so idiotic? 

On Tuesday, therealJShock wrote “you think your buying LA film tac creits. but the f*ckn snapper didnt… wow this is a f*cked up world we live in.”  Do I really have to make a joke here?  I mean, another joke.  Besides the one on Shockey’s Twitter.  By the way, Spell Check and Jeremy Shockey are mortal enemies.  Dana White is trying to convince them to settle their differences in the Octagon.

Even if you give him the benefit of the doubt on the typos, which of course I don’t, you still have to wonder what the hell he’s talking about.  I have a seriously tenuous grasp on American tax law, but I know some accountants who I haven’t consulted at all about this case, so I feel confident in saying that the Saints involved weren’t ‘buying tax credits’, but rather investing in a company in hopes that the company would later qualify for tax credits and they’d get their money back plus some.  Shockey seems to think that Houser was going to a store to buy these tax credits (they come 6 for a dollar if you’re a smart shopper) and they’d make his money magically multiply.  Rumor has it that he also asked Houser to grab some magic beans while he was out.  He has a girl stuck to a harp fetish. 

Tags: football, Jeremy Shockey, Kevin Houser, New Orleans Saints, NFL

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