Brett Favre Needs More Attention. STAT!

Because I'm Tired of Brett Favre's Stupid Face

Brett Favre awoke last night by bolting upright in bed, drenched in a cold sweat.  In his unconscious mind he realized that it had been almost a month since anyone in sports media had mentioned him.  And Brett Favre isn’t about to live in a world where Brett Favre isn’t constantly being talked about.  Not if Brett Favre has anything to say about it. 

So today, a day when nothing of matter happens in sports news, Favre solved his problem by announcing that he had absolutely nothing to announce.  And it worked!  Yaaay! 

What a media genius this guy is.  Had he simply announced he was going to join the Vikings, he’d be out of the headlines within a few days.  And of course had he announced another retirement, it would be only a few hours before we could bury his stupid public corpse.  But by merely announcing his intention to announce by the end of July, he’ll have those talking-head retards speculating about what he’s doing for two more weeks.  Plus all the buzz after he actually has something to say. 

Yes, ol’ BF, or “Butt-F*ck” if you will, has saved the day again.  No doubt Favre haters used to wish him a slow and painful death, but not anymore.  How could we they take the coverage?  It would be Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson all rolled into one obnoxious narcissistic Wrangler-wearing package.  He is absolutely now wished a speedy and sudden death by millions who long to never hear his dumb, misspelled name uttered ever again.

Tags: Brett Favre, football, Minnesota Vikings, NFL

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