The Pope Poped The Tour De France

The Pope is popin'

Pope Benedict XVI is currently on vacation at a mountain retreat in the Alps, which begs the question why would the Pope need to vacation?  He lives in the Vatican, his job is to travel around blessing things and he’s the Pope, so I’m assuming normal vacation goals like pass out on a beach or get some foreign strange ist forbotten from the agenda.  Regardless, he is taking time of from his strenuous job of fabulous opulence and leisure to relax in one the most beautiful places in the world.  Maybe there’s something to this Catholicism stuff after all. 

The Tour de France rode past the village where he is staying today and the Pope sent his greetings to those involved.  ‘Greeting’ not ‘blessing’.  Hmm, I wonder what those cyclists did to piss off the Pope.  Maybe he just enjoys seeing bike crashes as much as the rest of us and didn’t want the hand of God interfering. 

I think if I were Pope, I’d describe every action I performed as ‘poping’.  My personal journal would read something like, ‘I poped breakfast this morning and then poped my clothes on.  I went to pope a movie, then poped to some tourists and poped a nap.  I was supposed to pope some mail today, but maybe I’ll pope around to it tomorrow.  Right now, the Pope needs to pope.’  And that is why I’ll never be Pope.  That one reason.  If it weren’t for that, I can’t imagine what would keep me from it… so sayeth the Lord. 

This post hasn’t really been about the Tour de France, but I have more jokes about the Pope.  Seeing Pope Benedict XVI in print, I couldn’t help but wonder when the first Pope XXX will come.  I’m sure it will mark the end of humanity, though.  I mean, either Pope John XXX will be the bringer of armageddon, or some film studio executive will read this and think a movie called ‘Pope John XXX’ starring John Cena is a good idea and that movie will effectively destroy the Earth.  Either way, it’s safe to assume Pope John XXX is the most metal Pope since Pope Sergius III, who is said to have started the ‘pornocracy’… not joking.

Tags: cycling, Pope Benedict XVI, Tour de France

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