Pete Rose Should Be A Big Steroid Fan

Here's an easy way to let people know you're mentally handicapped

With this weekend’s induction of Ricky Henderson, Jim Rice and a third guy who no one is talking about into the Baseball Hall of Fame, talks again shifted to whether it’s time to allow Pete Rose in.  It’s gotten to the point that I’m not sure you can say the words ‘hall of fame’ without someone bringing up Charlie Hustle.  You could be touring a nursing home and when the employee pointed out the resident wall of fame, some old woman may pop out and say ‘hall of fame?  Is it time to let in Pete Rose?’  And that would be really weird because why would you be touring a nursing home? 

It seems Hank Aaron is lobbying for Rose now, which could finally sway Bud Selig to reinstate him.  If you haven’t been paying attention for the past couple of years, Aaron has gone into full curmudgeon mode and is calling out every baseball great of the past 10 years.  I guess losing his career home run record really pissed him off, but I can’t say I blame him.  I’d be tempted to drive off an overpass if Bonds passed me on the highway, I can only imagine the havoc I would wreak if Bonds passed me for something important.  I guess what I’m poorly trying to articulate is that it’s not surprising that Aaron is supporting Rose because if he’s against any recent star who is under suspicion of taking steroids, by default he is behind any older legend who has no steroids suspicions, regardless of any other crimes. 

That seems to be the way many former players and even media and fans are going though.  Now that steroids has corrupted the game more than many thought possible, transgressions that seemed unfathomably terrible in the past now don’t seem so bad.  Sure, Rose bet on baseball while he was involved in the game, which used to be the worst thing a player could do, but at least he didn’t openly cheat to inflate his numbers.  Sure, Joe Jackson may have been involved with the greatest scandal in baseball history, but at least he played on a level field while throwing games.  Sure, Vince Coleman threw firecrackers at people, but at least he couldn’t hit many because he didn’t use steroids to enhance his throwing arm. 

It makes one wonder if there will be a baseball crime in the future that will make historians look back fondly on those greats of the past who innocently injected themselves with steroids.  How bad would baseball have to get for people to forgive Bonds and McGwire for only blatantly cheating on the field?  For the answer, you only have to study the recent headlines.  Baseball playing robots are clearly the next horrible way to cheat in the sport.  Sure, Barry Bonds broke a sacred record by juicing and refuses to admit it, but at least he was human.

Tags: baseball, Bud Selig, Hall of Fame, Hank Aaron, MLB, Pete Rose, steroids

1 Comment to Pete Rose Should Be A Big Steroid Fan

Sports Satire
July 27, 2009

Let Rose into the hall of fame as a player. Just explain why he didn’t get in sooner on his plaque or something. He broke the rules as a manager. Let him in.

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