Stephon Marbury is The New Rickey Henderson

Are you not entertained?

A couple days ago, Stephon Marbury made a Stephon Marbury-esque decision.  He started live broadcasting his life right here.  The insanity actually started on Friday and I can’t apologize enough for not bringing it up until now.  You could thank me for not forcing you to waste your entire weekend glued to your computer wondering what Starbury would do next.  But, I’m not going to ask you to do that. 

There have been a handful of incredible moments already, including him breaking down and crying while listening to a song.  Right now, in fact, Steph is in a teleconference meeting trying to broker some deal to continue his live show and improve it.  One quote from that meeting, “I love white people…my daughter Italian.”  You may be wondering what that has to do with anything…that’s not a question you can ask when Marbury is involved.  By the way, Marbury’s self-proclaimed new nickname is “Starbury, the mad scientist.”  Why a scientist?  I don’t know, but a shirtless former superstar yelling anything repeatedly is pretty convincing. 

Perhaps the best thing about Marbury’s new live streaming web show is that there are commenters.  People like you or me telling him how insane everything he says or does is.  And, of course, he gets pretty butt hurt about the haters from time to time.  OK, so the best thing is clearly Starbury and his crazy pills, but the comments are pretty good too. 

Considering you’ve already missed a bunch of magic Marbury moments, here’s some of his best quotes, courtesy of Basketbawful and NBA Musings.  I don’t know if any of them can top his newest, “I love white people”, but you be the judge. 

“You know what the MVP trophy is…shiny shit.”- It’s also not owned by Starbury. 

“Man I sacraficed.  Splinters in my ass, crying, having conversations in the mirror with myself.”- Let’s be fair here, he was probably going to do that stuff anyway. 

“I know one thing for sure, and two things for certain. EVERYBODY wanna be a 50 million dollar bum.”- Good point, but what’s the other thing he knows for certain?

“I had to overconversate.”- I had to look-up overconversate in the dictionary. 

“Where would I want my jersey retired? Boston.”- Where would Boston want his jersey retired?  Anywhere else.

“Am I jealous of Tracy McGrady and Jason Kidd? Jealous of what?”- Uhhh, maybe their sanity?

“Going bald at 19 is not sexy. Its not the jump-off.”- Damn it, I told you, Mom.

“You wake up every day in LA and its groundhog day.”- Complete with Bill Murray and Andy McDowell?

“I’m not hating on video games. If that’s what you like as a grown man, cool.”- And I’m not hating on crazy former NBA players. 

“My job wasn’t taken. It was given to Chris Duhon. Don’t get it twisted.”- I have it admit, I got it twisted.

“I want to BUY A TEAM not play for a team.”- David Stern is officially at Defcon 1. 

“I had sex with a girl in the back of my truck. I made a mistake.”- I’m sure that girl feels great about herself though. 

“I undress haters. Stop playin’.”- You haters need to stay away from Starbury’s truck. 

“My moms. She’s like Matthew, Luke and John.”- She has 3 penises?

“No, I never sucked no wee-wee before. Next question.”- What other questions could I have after that?

“It’s very tough being 6?1? in the NBA.”- Even tougher being Starbury.

Tags: basketball, NBA, Stephon Marbury

5 Comments to Stephon Marbury is The New Rickey Henderson

JackGonzo
July 29, 2009

That’s down right insulting. Starbury may think he’s god gift, Rickey however is a gift. The best leadoff man of all time, arguably the best ball player of all time, Starbury gets the award for best Star on the side of you head.

That’s it. He would not make a short list of greatest basketball players, hell he wouldn’t even make a long list.

That man is nowhere NEAR Rickey…anyone can talk, but one must be able to talk AND play.

Steve in Texas
July 29, 2009

WTF???? Why in the hell would you do something as stupid as what he did? What’s there to gain? What a dipshit.

Saint Joe
July 29, 2009

Maybe instead of angling for a shoe contract he’s after a web-cam contract. Or Prozac.

dogginday
July 29, 2009

Jack, you’d have a harder time arguing that Rickey is the G.O.A.T. than Starbury has articulating a sentence.

East River Floater
July 29, 2009

@JackGonzo:
John Rocker would like to challenge your belief that you have to be good to say crazy things.

God I wish computer cameras and video-hosting sites had been more available in the mid 90s.

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