Mark Richt’s Hand is Dirty

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 | Dylan
Great, now I dont know my hotel room number

'Great, now I don't know my hotel room number'

Georgia head football coach Mark Richt has a wife and 6 kids, but according to Tennessee safety Eric Berry, the coach still gets an assist from his hand every now and then.  Especially when he’s on those long, lonely recruiting trips.  Of course I’m referring to Richt’s alleged practice of writing recruits’ bios on his hand as a cheat sheet.  Why, what did you think I was alluding to? 

Berry says that Richt showed up to try to persuade him to attend UGa with Berry’s name and stats scrawled across his palm.  He also says Richt didn’t even know that Berry, a top 5 recruit at any position that year, was a safety and quarterback.  Needless to say, that pretty much ruled the Dawgs out of the Eric Berry sweepstakes.  But it does qualify Richt for a sweet Bic endorsement deal, so there’s that.  ‘Be like Richt, get Bic’d.  They even write on your…hand!’

I’m sure many SEC fans will concentrate on the negative connotation of this story, but there are some positives.  Like, well, Richt clearly isn’t a chronic masturbator.  I mean, no one wants to smurf up their dangle.  I guess he may use black ink, in which case he probably wants to rub it off on his junk.  I mean, not him, but his wife…zing? 

Richt is also an environmentally friendly guy.  He refuses to waste paper on something he could just as easily write on his skin, and he doesn’t waste water by senselessly washing his hands all the time.  That kind of conscientious thinking should attract more recruits in the long run.  ‘Sure coach, I’ve seen the women and the cash and the facilities, but what kind of recycling program have you got?’ 

Now that this little tidbit is out there, however, Richt may want to change his tactics.  Opponents’ fans will be willing to do anything to give their team an unfair advantage.  That includes a well-timed moist handshake with the enemy coach…or worse.  ‘Say coach, my kid is a big fan.  Mind if he licks your hand?’

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