Wednesday’s Stella Dump

Modeling looks really hard

Well let’s get this thing started off right.  Here’s the preview for a porn parody of Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson’s relationship.  It appears to be a snapshot of skinny Jessica Simpson en route to becoming fat Jessica Simpson.  <sportscracklepop>

And here we have Chris Cooley wearing something like homo-erotic pajamas with his family battling honey bees with 4 cans of poison.  Sure, they probably should have hired professional bee removers for a number of safety/environmental reasons, but then we wouldn’t have heard things like “I hope we don’t get electrocuted,” “Unleash the FURY!” and “It’s peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time.”  Oooh Rednecks.  <stylepointsblog>

I bring you both good and bad news regarding Dominika Cibulkova.  Yeah, I’d never heard of her either, but that’s not the point.  Bad news: She pulled out of the U.S. Open.  Good News: This guy brings you lots of pictures of her.  Including some of her naked [no nudity ] rubbed up in mud.  Considering I wasn’t going to watch it anyway, I’ll take the trade.  <sportressofblogitude>

ESPN already had a commercial about Brett Favre?  I can’t believe it.  They never talk about Brett Favre.  <neswsports>

And here we have some Pete Rose sympathizers putting up his career stats.  Somehow that’s what the argument about him being in the Hall of Fame has boiled down to for a lot of people.  Not that he agreed to a lifetime ban from baseball in exchange for not outed by the commissioner at the time.  And only after gleefully hearing of the death said commissioner did he start whining about how unfair it was.  Never mind that the bastard not only broke the cardinal rule, posted above the tunnel of every MLB clubhouse, but that he continued to deny if for decades.  Forget all that, let’s look at his numbers.  F*ck Pete Rose.  <morehardball>

Colt McCoy is going for the “I touch kids” look this year.  Presumably to chase the media back towards Tim Tebow.  I was afraid this would happen.  Brad Pitt grows a mustache for Inglourious Basterds and all of a sudden every college kid thinks lip hair is cool again.  Well, breaking news, no it isn’t.  Brad Pitt can pull it off.  You can’t.  Stop it.  And poor Colt.  I haven’t seen a mustache this gross since I got into that van with that stranger back in 1993.  <bigleaguescrew>

The popular trend among networks these days is to come up with more and more ridiculous stats.  So this guy came up with his own.  This may have been meant as a parody, but I have no doubt that FOX Sports is feverishly ripping them off as I type this.  <therookiesblog>

Kansas City Chiefs version of The Office.  And yes, the acting is awful, but the bit is still funny.  <outsidetheboxscore>

Aww… Look at the Lions fans.  They’re ready to play Indianapolis this Saturday.  It’s kinda cute in a really heartbreaking sort of way.  They’re like the Cubs of the NFL.  <detroit4lyfe>

Send story ideas and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.  Oh, and it looks like I was wrong about Dylan’s return to the Internets yesterday.  Maybe he’ll be back today, but I don’t know.  Do I look like a Goddamn fortune teller?

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