Megan Fox Monday Cheer Dump

Picture Bootlegged from WWTDD. 

Click Ms. Fox for the larger, better version.

Former Tigers announcer, Ernie Harwell, took the field before the Vikings and Lions kicked off yesterday.  He put on a jersey and danced.  He did this forseeably to remind fans that while they may be unemployed residents of Detroit, stuck watching another Lions defeat, at least they don’t have inoperable terminal cancer.  <detroit4lyfe>

The Twins are pulling out all the stops for their new stadium, but building any sort of facility post Jerry World in Dallas must really blow.  “Hey!  Where’s the 180 foot HD screen hanging over the outfield?  And where are the cheerleaders dancing on raised platforms around the stadium?  What is this, Poor People’s Park?”  <stylepoints>

And what kind of dumper would I be without a follow-up dump to video of said platform-dancers?  The only thing these cages are missing would be polls and glass floors.  Unfortunately for guys at the games, it’s pretty hard to check out the busty bouncing beauty above and behind you without being completely obvious to your wife/girlfriend.  When they’re on the field you can train your binoculars down there for as long as you please, while repeatedly asking where that injured linebacker got to.  Sadly, “working a crick out of my neck” is only going to work once, and only for a couple of seconds.  <shutdowncorner>

Speaking of Jerry Jones, he’s not to high-and-mighty to pick his nose in front of 100,000+ people.  But he is clever and polite enough to discreetly use his thumb, so that nobody can tell he’s scraping off a roll-able booger.  The thumb pick is much more polite and refined you know.  <sportsrubbish>

OchoCinco stayed true to his word and did the Lambeau Leap yesterday.  My favorite part is the conflicted Packer fan who half-heartedly pats him on the back, then flips off the camera, then flips off Chad, while the rest of the cheesers gawked or booed in disbelief.  Kind of like how they looked as time expired in the game and they realized they’d just lost at home to the Bengals.  Fantastic.  <neswsports>

Until just now I wasn’t aware that I’ll be pulling for Arizona State for the rest of the year.  In fact, depending on how my Internet stalking goes, a road trip might be necessary.  I think Weed summed up my thoughts on Ms. Blanco with his first line: “Sweet fancy Moses.”  Poetry.  <sportressofblogitude>

 Saturday was a bad day to be a QB for Texas Tech.  Unless you really have a thing for Sergio Kindle, or you have some sort of sexual desire to get hit by a truck.  Even then I think you’d change your mind.  <dr.saturday>

The Hater goes after Virginia Tech and Nebraska.  In case you missed the game, it was a dog fight down to the final seconds.  And I do mean dog fight.  [Nope.  No Vick jokes]  Basically fans of both these programs should be disappointed.  <haterdiary> 

Hope everyone had as unproductive and unhealthy weekend as I did.  Now time to find those work socks you forgot to wash and drag it on into the office.  Happy f*cking Monday.  Send story suggestions and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.

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