Mostly Not Sports-Related Thursday Dump

I would have preferred the Nomo wind up

Carlos Guillen did some things Wednesday night.  What things he did I’m not exactly sure.  Some how it relates to a masturbating baby.  I’m not in the smartest of moods right now, so just click the link and figure it out yourself.  <detroit4lyfe>

I know these Hitler spoof videos are nothing new, but I was sent a new one about Oklahoma State’s new pregame song that did something for me.  What makes this so great is that I’m pretty sure it was an OSU grad that put it together.  <youtube>

Jimmy Kimmel released the environmentally-conscious NASCAR Green! commercial.  Next in the series will be NASCAR Reads!, NASCAR Accepts Diversity!, and NASCAR College Scholarship Fund!  <outsidetheboxscore>

I know this sounds like the spoof as unbelievable as the one above, but here’s a hot NASCAR chick.  These pictures are completely safe for work, but in case you’re interested, she’s got some that aren’t.  Being in playboy will do that for you.  Say hello to Mrs. ( Awwwww sad face) Lynne Allmendinger.  And let me tell you.  All men would ding her (pumps right fist and puckers lips).  <allleftturns>

Remember how back in the day coaches would warn players about having sex before the big game?  Well now experts are saying that frequent and regular sex, even the night before the game, is a good thing for athletes, as it increases testosterone levels and shit like that.  It’s the staying up until 3:30 in the morning banging out that bar skank before the big game that was hurting your performance.  Not the loss of your man juice.  <sportressofblogitude>

Awwwww… F*ck you Tim Tebow.  And all you bitches.  And you know what?  He won’t.  Because you’re not Jesus, and he only does that with Jesus.  I read that somewhere.  <bustedcoverage>

Here’s a small collection of human stupidity.  In pictures.  Because celebrating morons should never be done with words.  <thechive>

A Badger in a sea of Midshipmen.  Seriously a brilliant idea, executed to perfection.  I have no doubt that when this guy dies, and they’ve got his fat pink body in some fat, polished coffin, this picture will be sitting on that little table right in front of his corps.  There’s no way he’ll ever do anything better than this.  <deadspin>

Wait… Creepy old ladies talking about sex doesn’t make you want to buy condoms?  Whaddya mean?  I… Really?  Well crap.  I guess it’s back to the drawing board.  Who would have seen that coming?  <sharapovasthigh>

All right party people.  That’s it.  I’m out.  Vacation time for this asshole.  For the next couple of days you can enjoy sports-related things from Dylan.  I’ll be enjoying alcohol-related things and spending borrowed money.  Mmmm America.  Help Dylan out while I’m away, and send story ideas and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.  Or just send him pictures of your junk.  I know I will. 

Tags: link dump

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