Excited Friday Dump

Awww... Socks in the bed?

Michelle Beadle didn’t used to do whatever it is that she does now.  Nope.  She used to be a rodeo reporter.  See, it’s stories like this that say “Sure, you’re nothing but a shit kicker now, but maybe someday you’ll be the stuff that wet dreams are made of.”   <outsidetheboxscore>

Did you know that Nicklas Lidstrom became the first European-born defenseman to score 1,000 points in the NHL?  And did you know that I can snap with my toes, or that crapping in the reservoir tank of someone’s toilet is called an “upper decker?”  No, didn’t think so, Ms. Smarty Pants.  <detroit4lyfe>

Weed brings us a cheerleader of the week.  She’s an advertising major at FIU.  Which means it might be a while before anyone notices she’s missing.  Ha ha, just kidding…  <sportressofblogitude>

Here’s some pretty solid fantasy football advice.  Now, keep in mind that it’s from a Bears fan.  But he went ahead and punched himself in the sack and admitted that Aaron Rodgers looks like a solid start this week.  Traitor.  <sharapovasthigh>

What your shirt says about you.  If you’re a guy.  And you suck.  Which I assume most of you are/do.  <guyisms>

It’s Oklahoma/Texas weekend.  Also known as the biggest Fat Convention in the world, as fans of both schools converge on the Texas State Fair and mingle with the rest of the big fat f*cks that can be found wheezing and waddling around the Midway.  This game always provides lots of great pictures.  And I don’t mean of the game.  To prove my point: Here’s a big butt crack.  <bustedcoverage>

You know how I’m a sucker for flow charts.  This one isn’t from our usual flow chart experts, but rather some prick USC fan.  I only call the USC fan a prick because he’s a USC fan, and so obviously a prick.  But he does make fun of Notre Dame, who I hate worse than paper cuts and sex with fat women.  Combined.  So this one makes the dump.  Go Trojans.  (Ugh).  <trojanwire>

Okay, that’s it.  Enjoy a great weekend of college football, and feel free to send in pictures of any adventures/drunk girls you might come across (or on) this weekend.  Knowhatimean?  *nudge nudge wink*  Oh yeah, and send all that stuff to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

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