Cleveland Browns Make Cleveland Browns Puke

Word of advice, don't put 'Browns puke' into Google Image search

The Cleveland Browns are a dismal 1-5 this season and those struggles are starting to take a toll on the team.  A total of 12 players, including 6 starters, reportedly have the flu and are currently unable to practice.  At first glance, it would seem that the Browns players are taking advantage of the flu-epidemic and using it to get out of practice.  Head Coach isn’t helping disprove that theory with statements like this: “We’re trying at the first signs of any kind of illness to get the guys home and out of the building.”  If your boss told you to take the day off if you coughed, wouldn’t you be home right now halfway through a 12 pack?  I know I am.

But this may actually be a bigger problem than that.  It’s possible probable definite that the Cleveland Browns have been so putrid on the field this season that it has actually made them physically ill.  The illness began last Sunday when a couple of players became sick just before or during the Browns game against Pittsburgh.  The flu had spread throughout the team by the time Cleveland met on Tuesday to watch film.  So, the Browns are playing and the Browns get sick.  Then, the tape of the Browns playing is being shown and the Browns get sick.  What more evidence do you need?  How about the fact that the Browns have completed a total of 11 passes in the last 2 games.  That’s only six more than Tom Brady completed for a touchdown in one quarter last Sunday.  Just typing that made me feel queasy, I can only imagine what watching it would do.

The real question isn’t whether or not watching the Browns makes you sick, it’s what is the best course of action to prevent this from becoming a serious health concern for the nation.  Obviously, the Browns should never be shown on television, but that was hardly an issue anyway.  Also, everyone attending games that feature the Browns should receive a vaccination that prevents the contraction of Browns Flu (symptoms include exactly what the name makes it sound like).  That vaccine is simply a triple dosage of alcohol because inebriated fans are unable to fully comprehend how terrible the team is, thus will be immune to the crippling infection.

Tags: Cleveland Browns, football, NFL, Swine Flu

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