Champagne Goggles Ruin Fun?

This reminds me. I need porn goggles.

The AP ran some sandy-vag story today about Champagne goggles in the club house.  In this story they talk to the likes of high school history teachers and people who put “Fenway” in their daughter’s name.  These people  experts whine about goggles ruining the spontaneity of a celebration following a giant victory. 

Yeah, it’s the goggles that did it.  They ruined the big surprise.  Not the 80+ years of the exact same celebratory tradition in baseball.  No, no.  It’s the goggles.  Had these people not seen players don the eye-protection, they might have expected a rousing game of clubhouse scrabble to commemorate a victory.  Following that logic, these same people should be pissed when the players come to the plate with batting helmets on. 

“Hold on a second…!  Is he going to bat?  Aww! Way to ruin the surprise dick head!!”

Personally, I like the goggles.  Some doctor in the stupid story I referenced talked about how the alcohol content in Champagne can damage the eye.  I don’t give a damn about that, of course.  I wasn’t invited, so they’re not my eyes.  I just like anyone who prepares for a party that could cause bodily harm. 

Like if your girlfriend came out of the room wearing lingerie and goggles.  If the get-up doesn’t get you moreexcited, you’re probably dating the wrong gender.  If seeing players sporting Champagne goggles makes you angry, you’re probably a douchebag who should stick to watching shows on MTV.

Tags: baseball, drunk, MLB, New York Yankees, Philadelphia Phillies, World Series

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