The Criminals Finally Figured It Out

My Sabby Piscitelli picture got stolen

For eons, society has been three pronged.  You have your criminals, your law enforcement and your normals, or ‘normies’ as I like to call them.  Law enforcement is constantly trying to outsmart the criminals, criminals are constantly trying to outsmart law enforcement and normies and the normies are constantly trying to outsmart criminals and law enforcement…because I’m running late and 65mph just isn’t going to cut it today.

Throughout history, law enforcement and normies have had the upper-hand because criminals are generally pretty stupid.  But it seems they’ve finally cracked the valuable code that could well lead to a criminal dominated world.  That code being, commit your crimes when no one is around to see it.  If you think that sounds too simple, you must be a normie.

I know that code has been cracked because Tampa Bay Buccaneer Sabby Piscitelli had his home burglarized as he played against the Green Bay Packers on Sunday.  To the uneducated, that may seem like an isolated incident, but let’s take a deeper look here.

If asked to name a group of millionaires, the largest and most recognizable crew would be professional athletes.  If my aim was to rob people’s houses, I’d prefer to know when they were going to be home and when they weren’t going to be home.  Basically, I could wait for someone in Bill Gates’ family to die or I could just rob players’ homes while a national TV audience keeps a look-out for me.  I mean, I guess I could rob the White House while Obama is addressing Congress but I’m betting Piscitelli has a bigger flat-screen.

Last summer, a big concern in the NBA was a rash of players having their houses broken into while they were home and those players being tied up and held at gun-point while criminals robbed them.  Those criminals were eventually arrested.  But now, they seem to have figured out that it’s way easier to rob a house if you don’t have to use duct tape to restrain the hulking man in phenomenal shape that lives there.  And thus, now is the winter of the normies discontent.

Tags: football, NFL, Sabby Piscatelli, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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