Balmy Balcony Tuesday Dump

A wise man once said, "Something something. Check out that ass."

Let’s get today started with a Detroit Lions fan’s suicide note.  We’ll call it a first draft anyway.  A preliminary attempt to explain the grey matter on the ceiling.  <secondstringfullback>

Speaking of awful, the Rams are so bad that even the bars have started closing on Sundays.  At least in Detroit all the businesses close because the entire city is failing, not just the football team.  In the biz, we call that Bear (Market) Rape.  <joesportsfan>

Okay you hockey fan out there.  Here’s the Steve Yzerman tribute and Hall of Fame induction speech.  If there’s ever a Blogger’s Awards Show, I expect a similar level of enthusiasm and coverage as the NHL’s HOF.  <detroit4lyfe>

A write up of the Iowa defeat at the hands of the purple kitties.  This is something I’d expect to read in a newspaper or something.  There’s none of the vitriol, hate, or even giddy glee at watching thousands of people have their dreams go down in a flaming pile.  It’s just an objective summary.  Not once does he compare their season to the hopes of the Fat Friend at a bar, who thinks that guy is actually interested.  But nope.  He’s winging sweetheart.  And now that your little friend is slinging leg for his buddy he’s out.  Peace bitch.  Better luck next time.  <outsidetheboxscore>

Girls soccer violence is all the rage right now in the media, so why not have some video of a girls high school soccer fight?  Good video too.  And the second or third time you watch this, look at what a bitch the ref is.  He (she?) won’t even dive in and break it up.  Just sort of hangs around the edges obviously muttering “hey… girls… hey.  You cut that out.  Jeeeeeeze.”  <totalprosports>

Here’s the inner monologue of that cop that just pulled you over.  If you’re a cop you probably won’t think this is overly funny.  But that’s because you’re probably kind of a douchebag.  Obviously I’m not saying all cops are douchebags.  I like some cops.  I’m simply saying that you’re probably a douchebag.  <holytaco>

Here’s eight random videos.  They have very little in common, except that all are sport-related, and all are awesome.  Though the headline has spanking in it, there is no sexy follow-up.  That’s about it.  What more do you want from me?  Click the damn link and see for yourself.  <neswsports>

This facebook comment thread is better than anything my asshole friends have ever put together.  I need better friends.  F*ck.  Oh, it’s about Jay Cutler being a douche.  <kissingsuzykolber>

Jenn Sterger is getting rid of her implants.  I don’t really care either way, because I’m not a huge tits guy, and I’m never going to hit that anyway.  But here is a Top Ten list of some of the best Sterger Implant Moments.  Actually I bet none of these are in the top 100 best Sterger Implant Moments, but I doubt there’s footage snow-capping those mountains and running that motor.  Then again she is a whore…. <guyism>

Okay friends.  That’s it.  Time to brush my teeth on the toilet.  Again.  Don’t act like that’s not sexy.  And send link tips and story suggestions to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

Tags: link dump

No comments yet.

Leave a comment