Friday the 13th Dump

I've had dogs give me that same look when they catch me doing this.

Here an excited beaver sprays a woman right in the face.  You know, there is no way to write this headline that doesn’t make it sound like porn.  Anchor woman gets beaver juice in mouth.   See?    <CBS>

Manny Pacquiao(?) went on Kimmel to discuss his scheduled fight with Miguel Cotto.  When that got boring they just had him sing.  And boy, is “Sometimes When We Touch” intimidating.  <outsidetheboxscore>

One of the largest sports blogs in the country recently wrote that a trade between the Tigers and Yankees, sending Curtis Granderson to New York, would be beneficial to both programs.  Telling that to a Detroit fan is like petting a cat backwards.  Honestly, I think you’d have an easier time convincing a hiker that bear rape could be a really good experience for both him and that 800 pound grizzly.  <detroit4lyfe>

Not to be left out, here’s a hopeful Chicagoan making a case for Granderson moving to the Friendly Confines.  And look Detroit, you’d get awesome Alfonso Soriano and his awesomely huge contract in return!  What a f*cking deal!  <notqualifiedtocomment>

Loyal Bears blogger questions whether or not Jay Cutler is turning out to be yet another failure at QB for Chicago.  Right after a game in which he threw 5 picks to make him the NFL leader in interceptions.  Two of which came in the red zone.  I sort of thought this question had been answered, but then again I still hear people debating the validity of climate change…  So I’ll help you all out.  Yes, he sucks.  He sucks as much as his diabetes and disappearing chin.  And yes, science and facts are real.  Next topic.  <beargoggleson> 

Doing the Risky Business dance is just that.  Especially for this hot girls noggin.  Then the one that didn’t eat shit almost does while trying to help her.  I love stupid girls.  I love them so damned much.  <regretfulmorning>

What kind of Friday the 13th would it be without 25 hilarious (blasphemous) Jesus pictures?  A sad Friday the 13th.  That’s what kind it would be.  The light switch is my favorite because it’s real.  <holytaco> 

Happy Unlucky Friday everyone.  Feel free to send in your tales of misfortune from today, and I’ll feel free to laugh at them and exploit you for my own personal gain.  Those, along with tips and suggestions, go to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

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