Brock Lesnar’s Only Weakness Revealed

I almost posted a Brock Lesnar picture...thank me later

A friend of mine claims he would fight Brock Lesnar.  ’So what’ you might be saying, ‘lots of people aren’t scared to die.’  But this fellow actually thinks he could survive and hold his own.  I’m pretty sure he thinks he could beat Lesnar in a fight.  Because I’m a good friend who likes to see dreams come true, and cocky jackasses blood spilled, I’ve made it my mission to set up such a fight if ever given the opportunity to meet Lesnar.  This morning, I received a text message asking me to set up this match as quickly as possible.  It appears big Brock’s weakness has been uncovered.

Like the great warrior Achilles, Brock Lesnar appears invincible but has a lurking vulnerability.  By some incredible coincidence, Achilles’ weakness was his Achilles heel.  That’s almost as unlikely as Lou Gehrig contracting a disease that bears his name.  For Brock, it seems his weakness is his intestines because he’s been receiving treatments for a bacterial infection in his intestinal tract.  Frank Mir is kicking himself right now for not employing more holds that would infect Lesnar’s fragile intestines.

UFC president Dana White has expressed concerns that Lesnar may never fight again.  Since everyone now knows how to defeat the great beast, would anyone really want to see him back in the octagon, spoiling his young legacy?  Until now, Lesnar has flaunted his unstoppable nature.  His torso features a large sword tattoo, which seems to suggest that he’s even impervious to being stabbed [ED. Note: No Homo]. But now that we know the monster can be felled by a microscopic organism, the fearsome persona is gone.

As for my friend, I’ll be working to get him that fight with a debilitated Brock Lesnar.  Until Brock contracts a disease that completely paralyzes him or robs him of his toaster-like hands, I’m making him a heavy favorite against any amateur.

Tags: Brock Lesnar, MMA, UFC

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