Zach Collaros: Old Enough To Party

Collaros gets a taste of prison life

I think we can all agree that the alcohol restriction laws in this country are out of date and ridiculous, right?  I mean, at 20 years old, you can serve your country, start a family, smoke, complete 75-percent of your passes for a dark horse national title contender and account for 12 TDs in a four game span.  It’s perfectly acceptable to perform in front of thousands of buzzed, tipsy, drunk or unconscious fans, but try to partake in the goods yourself and that’s a paddlin’.  Or, in the case of Cincinnati back-up QB Zach Collaros, that’s a court-ordered program on the dangers of alcohol.

Collaros was caught using a fake ID to gain entry to a bar while he was only 20.  He was ordered to attend an 8-hour class on how terrible alcohol is and how it destroys lives…until you turn 21 and then knock-yourself out, champ.  Collaros is more of a real world experience type of guy, though.  He didn’t really turn into a great college QB until he got the chance to start after Tony Pike went down with an injury.  And he didn’t really learn about alcohol until he (may or may not have) went drinking instead of attending the court-ordered class.

Collaros appeared in court again yesterday and was scolded by a judge and informed that he had less than a month to complete the class or do time behind bars.  It seems to me, in this case, the punishment doesn’t really fit the crime.  I mean, he tried to get into a bar and drink alcohol, so you’re teaching him about alcohol.  Information that would likely be useful to him when he continues to drink alcohol.  They really should have just taught him about a more effective way to sneak into bars.  Hello, genius, you’re on the football team.  I think someone is going to figure out that the very recognizable guy who is heavily advertised as being an underclassman isn’t supposed to be able to get into the bar.  And it’s not like football players go to college bars and try not to get noticed.  I’m guessing he wore his Bearcat warm-ups with his name and number on them.  I know because that’s what I would do.

‘Why yes I am on the football team.  Why yes, third-string holder is a very important position.  Vital, even.  They say I might win the Heisman, this year.  Now let me demonstrate my holding technique on whatever you have handy that is vaguely football shaped.’

Everything above is all well and good, but I have to level with you, I only read the original article because of the headline: ‘Judge to Collaros: Finish or Face Jail’.  That’s contrary to everything a judge has ever told me.  I guess being a college superstar really has it’s advantages.

Tags: Cincinnati, football, NCAA, Zach Collaros

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