Daly to Tiger: Stop Stealing My Act

John Daly is the Tiger Woods of grabbing headlines with your insane personal life

I realize that this is the second post I’ve done today about the Tiger Woods car accident.  I also realize that even without my two posts, the Internet has been saturated with people talking about it.  It’s possible that there are now more blog posts on the Internet pertaining to Tiger’s car crash than there are blog posts pertaining to MEGAN FOX NUDE PICTURES.  What’s that Google?  Why yes, I did say MEGAN FOX NUDE PICTURES.  Why?  Is that something that you might be interested in?  Really?  You know some people who might like MEGAN FOX NUDE PICTURES.  Well then.  I can’t really help in that department since her security guards tell me she’s a very private person, but it’s good to know.

Even with the over-exposure of a possibly mundane story, let’s forge ahead.  The AP heard reports that a professional golfer was involved in an auto accident with some strange details over the weekend and before anyone could tell them that it was Tiger Woods who had been hurt, a team of reporters was already on a plane to John Daly.  Upon arriving, they learned of their mistake and one asshole said ’see, that’s what you get when you assume.’  Daly promptly punched that guy in the face but still granted the AP an interview.

Asked about his take on the whole ordeal, Daly is quoted, likely between bites of wings at his local Hooters, as saying:

We need him, probably more than anybody on the tour, to keep things going…

Whatever happened, as long as he’s OK that’s all that matters.

Daly comes off as compassionate and intelligent, but if you read between the lines you’ll realize that his statements are more of a warning to Tiger.  That warning being, ’stop stealing my act.’  Given the opportunity, I think Daly would have liked to say something like this:

I realize they are saying he wasn’t drunk at the time, but ridiculous stories away from the course like this are my territory.  And this was his first attempt at a headline grabbing incident.  He’s a smart guy.  Eventually, he’ll figure out that the inclusion of alcohol doubles the media coverage.  And where does that leave me?  Who is going to root for me when they can get the tabloid exploits and incredible golf skills in the same package?  I downed three fifths of Jack this morning and then went to an Arby’s without my shirt to punch the first woman I could find and there’s no mention of it anywhere.  I can’t decide if I should stop drinking entirely or start drinking heavily.

So there you have it, another Tiger Woods story to throw on the fire.  It may not have been the most informative, but you have to admit that of all the other articles on this topic, this one had the least to do with Tiger Woods.

Tags: Golf, John Daly, PGA, Tiger Woods

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