Missouri Now A Yakov Smirnoff Joke

At Missouri, woman beats you!

Missouri basketball players Amanda Hanneman and Jessra Johnson are not to be f*cked with.  They were arrested Thursday night for third-degree assault after allegedly beating a Missouri cheerleader.  Easy fellas, cool it with the cat-noises.  The cheerleader is a dude.  And he got messed up.

The story, or at least the version I’m choosing to believe, goes that the two basketball players were attending a party at the cheerleaders place when he decided it was time to break it up and go to bed.  Hanneman and Johnson were having none of that however and decided the best way to keep the party going was to jack the cheerleader in the face a few times.  After their arrest, the players have been suspended indefinitely from the team and will likely be forced to film a PSA:  ’Drilling cheerleaders…not always as fun as it sounds.’

The players were the top two scorers on the Tigers’ squad so it seems the women’s game is continuing to creep closer and closer to the product the men are putting on the floor.  There are more and more women who can dunk and now it seems there is a growing number of stars who get into off-the-court trouble.  That number being 2 having grown from zero.  Still, if I start seeing neck tattoos and celebrity boyfriends, I may have to start…nah, what am I saying, I’ll continue to ignore women’s basketball.  But, uh, you know, keep up the good work or whatever.

As for Missouri, they should include this incident in their college brochures.  Ugly as it may be on the surface, if you dig deeper you can find the values most public institutions put pride in.  I mean, this was a multi-ethnic fight where women beat up a man.  Diversity…and equality.

Tags: basketball, Missouri, NCAA

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