Ides of December Dump

That candy cane thing isn't suggestive in the least. Nope.

Near the end of Back to the Future 3, we’re introduced to Doc Brown’s two kids, Jules and Verne.  The debate is on as to whether Verne is played by a young child, or some sexual-deviant of a dwarf.  After watching him discretely call over Elisabeth Shue and then point at his crotch, my vote’s for demon-child.  <marrsattacks>

The song “Run Around Sue” re-written and performed as “Ndamukong Suh.”  Take how bad you think this is, and then remember that it came out of Nebraska and triple it.  <outsidetheboxscore>

The Chicago Cubs and Whitesox need look no further than their own fair city to find a left-handed bat, says one besieged and bitter Chicagoan (they saw the warmest part of the day by 6:00 this morning).  Couldn’t be a worse decision than signing Milton Bradley, or keeping Ozzie Guillen.  <notqualifiedtocomment>

Turns out that blog I linked to yesterday claiming to have been shut down due to legal issues was just “pulling our legs.”  Next time you give me a tug, make it worth my time.  <stylepoints>

Erin Andrews will be in court today as her number one fan and life-long nemesis, Michael David Barrett, is expected to plead guilty to video taping her naked while furiously pulling his pud.  He may not have to own up to pulling his pud.  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.  Just like we’ll have to see if Erin wears something sexy to court today and shoots the defendant winks during the proceedings.  I bet she will.  Rawr.  <AssociatedPress>

Did Tiger sleep with Rachel Uchitel again this weekend?  Seeing as how she flew to his city and stayed only a few miles from his house, I’d say it’s a possibility.  It would be a probability, noting that after listening to his voice mail and reading his text messages it’s apparent that he’s somewhat retarded, but the chance that she was simply there to blackmail extort  negotiate more money out of him is still a good one.  <wwtdd>

Crowd of Excited Irish people?  Check.  Drunk and going crazy?  (See Irish).  Girl with a nice rack a couple of rows down?  Check.  Opportunity to give the young lass a feel up?  Taken.  <nfljuice>

Reports are out that Kate Hudson and A-Rod are through.  Other reports are coming in that I don’t have even one shit to give about it.  Though it does make that David Letterman interview with Hudson a few days ago all the funnier.  <deadspin>

That’s all for the Tuesday Dump-Around.  The fly-over states are being smashed by another arctic front while somewhere in Hawaii Charlie Weis is ordering another  Pina Colada.  Send tips and suggestions to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

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