Foxy Wednesday Dump

Do you think Armani makes clean-up rags?

Colt McCoy proposed to his amazingly beautiful girlfriend, Rachel Glandorf yesterday.  But just to make sure to lame it up, he did so on the UT football field.  I’m assuming she said yes, if for no other reason than to change that last name.  And that’s a good thing.  It’s nice to finally see a “Star athlete gets beautiful girl,” story for a change.  <bigleaguescrew>

Lots of times sports writers are lame, lazy, late, alcoholic and depressed.  Trust me.  This combo means that deadlines are often hurling at them before they’ve mustered up the energy to even find something to write about, much less do the interviews and write the damn thing.  Here’s some evidence from Mark Cannizzaro in his story about a high school game between Jerricho Cotchery and Philip Rivers.  <secondstringfullback>

Mike Tyson hosted or ran or guest starred or something on WWE Monday Night Rawwwww! this week.  And you don’t have to take my word for it, because apparently they filmed the thing.  I wonder if it’s weird for Mike to be the most intelligent, stable person in an auditorium.  <outsidetheboxscore>

Here’s a list of the 10 best reasons for Lane Kiffin to bail on Tennessee for USC.  Though it all seems quite detailed and silly to me.  All you have to do was think of everything you know about southern California, and then think through everything you know about Tennessee.  Then try to keep thinking of Tennessee for longer than two seconds before thinking of southern California again.  Ta-da!  Don’t exactly hear of millions of tourists flocking to f*cking Tennessee, do you?  <midwestsportsfan>

Here is a suggestion to put Layla Kiffin in the Song Girls.  Personally, I’d prefer something a little more classy, like leather, electrical tape and a ball gag.  But you know, whatever tickles your fancy.  Here’s a bunch of pictures of the beautiful Mrs. Douche.  <rumorsandrants> 

The Bulls are rumored to be interested in adding Giant Douchebag, Tracy McGrady as his mother calls him, to their roster.  Surprisingly, Chicagoans don’t seem to hate his guts that much yet, and would probably welcome the addition.  Tracy might want to call up Jay Cutler before this goes down.  <notqualifiedtocomment>

Are “Cut the Cheese” jokes still funny?  They cracked my shit up in third grade, but… Still?  Funny enough to put on a sign when you’re playing the Packers?  Wouldn’t bringing a sign that just said “FUDGE” real big on it be 1,000 times funnier?  <thatfan>

I’m outta here.  There are more Megan Fox pictures all over the Internet, if you’re interested.  And if you’re not interested then Get the hell outta here, asshole.  Nobody talks about my lady like that!  Send story suggestions and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com.

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