First of February Dump

I'm far too hungover to deal with color pictures this morning

A lot of people like to talk shit about the Pro Bowl.  They say it’s stupid, boring, and a giant waste of time.  Unless I’m as drunk as I got last night, I’m one of those people.  But here’s someone sober who says it isn’t the Pro Bowl that sucks, but all of us who hate it.  I love being told how much I blow first thing Monday morning.  <stylepoints>

Speaking of suck, remember the Chicago Bears “Super Bowl Shuffle?”  Well this is the “Sex Offender Shuffle,” and I imagine most of you will find this sort of thing to be hilarious.  And by that I mean all of you who aren’t on the sex offender list.  <tremendousupsidepotential>

ESPN GameDay was in Manhatton, Kansas this weekend for the Kansas State-Kansas game.  People in that state have nothing to do all day but rape farm animals and think of funny signs, so here are the best signs so far this year.  It helps that these two teams hate each other as much as livestock hate being raped.  <thatfan>

If you took all the yet-unsigned free agents in MLB and put them on a team, here’s how the roster would look.  Don’t get any ideas, Orlando.  <morehardball>

Tim Tebow’s retarded anti-abortion Super Bowl commercial has been a pretty hot topic lately.  But everyone’s just scanning over his Doritos commercial.  I wish so much that this was an actual commercial.  I also wish I had some Doritos.  <UCBcomedy>

I’m a guy who regularly defends Donovan McNabb.  I really like him as a player and a person.  But in a recent interview about the prospect of staying in Philadelphia, Dovovan told the reporter that his psychic friend told him everything would work out.  Thanks for making me look like a douchebag, Donovan.  <secondstringfullback>

Here’s a video of Alison Brie from Mad Men doing a photo shoot for Complex Magizine.  And in it she’s eating strawberries and ice cream cones.  While dressed in very little.  And I know I’m running late today, but excuse me while I find that Jergens.  BRB.  <bigleaguescrew>

Michael Jordan has a brother named Larry who can dunk.  I know.  I don’t give a shit either, but hey!  Here’s a video!  <notqualifiedtocomment>

USC’s team manager, who is the guy who washes jockstraps, was fired, re-hired, and re-fired this weekend.  All for a little technical foul he picked up while playing Oregon.  Life’s not fair, is it douchebag?  <thedagger>

I’ve hated Boise State for years and years.  And now you can get in on the fun too, as their retarded football field is inspiring near-by schools to do equally retarded things with the color of their turf.  Here’s a red field, because f*ck you everybody.  F*ck you right in your virgin ass holes. <spartyandfriends>

Goddamnit.  I haven’t been this hungover in a long damn time.  Since last Monday or something.  Plus we got blown up by some spammer over the weekend, and even after deleting over 200 comments there are well over 400 waiting to be purged.  This morning is a good argument for why I shouldn’t own a fire arm.  Send link tips and story suggestions to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

Tags: link dump

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