Holey Thursday Dump

Note: Shirts with holes ripped in the front don't look as good on me

We’ll get started with the new Axe commercial, featuring Matt Stafford and a bunch of beautiful women who have no qualms about retarding the advancement of gender equality.  If these commercials work on you, in that they convince you that by using Axe you’ll be irresistible to scores of hotties, then you should also consider drinking bleach to whiten your teeth.  <detroit4lyfe>

Michelle Beadle as been anointed the spank-bank princess of the blogosphere, for some reason.  So when she goes gorilla-shit over a bunch of puppies, it gets written about.  And because I’m too tired to find anything else, here’s the video:  <outsidetheboxscore>

Speaking of that show, they had a blast yucking it up at a video of some dude taking a serious spill on a bike.  Unfortunately, they ran the clip and thoroughly enjoyed it without doing any research what-so-ever.  Turns out, the guy broke a score of bones, couldn’t ride anymore, lived in unbelievable pain and took his own life because of the accident.  “Ha HA HA HA!  But look how his head bounces off the pavement!  But I’m sure he was fine…  Next up: Lady get’s into a ‘face-off’ with her friend’s chimp!”  <deadspin>

John Mayer does lots of things.  One of those things is giving some perspective on Tiger Woods’s problems.  Sadly, it’s the only honest, accurate assessment I’ve heard mentioned publicly.  Oh, and I hear he’s also digging out Taylor Swift now.  And having abandoned all premise of ethical journalism, I am happy to repeat any unsubstantiated rumors, just like mainstream media.  <sportressofblogitude>

Hey, now that we’ve started talking about Tiger: Ladies, watch your vaginas.  Tiger Woods is getting out of rehab this week.  So “they” say.    <radar>

Got pictures of fans and coaches flipping off the camera/other teams/opposing fans?  Send it to the Rex Ryan-Mike Ditka Museum for Assholery.  <thatfan>

Awesome junk food stadium constructed for a Super Bowl party.  Now only if it was abortion-themed, I might consider making something like that.  <holytaco>

Martina Hingis is retiring again.  So unless she goes all Favre on us, that leaves her completely free to do nothing but nude modeling.  Unless of course she’s interested in dating penniless bloggers.  If that’s the case then you perverts stop touching yourselves to my woman.  <withleather>

Well that did it.  I wrote “touching yourselves” and need to go… do… shave.  Send story suggestions and link tips to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

Tags: link dump

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