Morning Finds New Orleans Still Standing

Playing the role of the 'Omega Man', that guy in the blue shirt

The Saints historic Super Bowl victory is an event that millions of people will never forget.  There’s the fans of the team, general football fans, bleeding hearts that want good things for New Orleans, bastard-coated bastards who harbor some illogical hatred of New Orleans and of course, New Orleans residents and visitors who either puked on someone, were puked on or woke up without pants in a gutter and wondered what day it was.

It was because of this last group that many, like myself, had a legitimate fear that The Big Easy would no longer be standing when the sun came up on Monday.  And what better way to commemorate the official moment that the city fully recovered from Katrina than for the citizens to do their damnedest to destroy it.

But Jesus is evidently not to be counted among the throng of people reveling in the Super Bowl afterglow on Bourbon Street last night because, unlike when His flood of wind and rain came down on the city, it’s still there.  Or, perhaps the J-man took one too many hand-grenades early in the celebration and lost focus.  Either way, kudos to New Orleans.

While you managed to keep your city above sea-level and also above burning ruble status, you did fail to properly celebrate what may well be your city’s greatest achievement.  The Saints played in and won their first Super Bowl and by 8AM, the streets are deserted and there’s no sign of even one passed-out/dead prostitute corpse lining the curbs.  If this is how you plan on celebrating Lil Wayne’s death, Weezy may as well stick around for another twenty years.

This was supposed to be the party of the century.  Scott Fujita said he was planning on being drunk for the next month.  Rooms full of people across the country seriously considered driving to New Orleans to be a part of it.

‘Well, I would miss the next…foreseeable future of work days and I’d almost definitely suffer injury or STD, but how can I say no.’

And yet, those cooler-heads that prevailed yesterday didn’t wake today to extreme regrets.  They didn’t wake to news stories about flowing alcohol, nudity, fires, overturned cars and hedonism.  They woke to pictures of empty streets and clean-up crews.  They woke to a scene that actually pales in comparison to a typical college tailgate.  So on that note, .boo New Orleans.  You beat the Colts and you certainly topped what Indianapolis had planned for a celebration, but you completely failed to live up to everyone else’s impossible expectations.  The player that should have died in the blowout would be spinning in his grave…you know…because you didn’t party hard enough…so he wouldn’t be dead…but he should be…because you should have…this would make much more sense if you were all more hung over.

Bootlegged from The Big Lead

Tags: douchebaggery, drunk, football, New Orleans Saints, NFL, Super Bowl

1 Comment to Morning Finds New Orleans Still Standing

furrer4heisman
February 8, 2010

two of our friends flew to new orleans sunday just to take part in the festivities if the saints won. we havent heard from them since the game ended.

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