Turn Your Head and Cough Day Dump

Life Favre, she works out in tight jeans

Figure skating is ridiculous and awful.  Male figure skating is that squared.  Here are a bunch of still shots with captions that would be far better explanations for what the f*ck is going on than the real ones.  <bigleaguescrew>

Some U.S. skier has decided to ride his instant fame train to V-town.  In this case, Taylor Swift’s V.  In that he asked her to be his Valentine.  What did you think I meant?  <outsidetheboxscore>

Cartoon robot doctor Bill Russell puts cartoon robot Joakim Noah in his cartoon robot place.  If you’re looking for a better description than that you’re shit out of luck, because I don’t get it either.  But this guy said it’s funny, and that the language is NSFW, so who knows.  Maybe it is.  <notqualifiedtocomment>

Well it’s been a while since Oprah asked Drew Brees about that lipstick mark on his cheek, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still jokes trickling in.  Hell, it had been 4 weeks since I slept with that girl when I got a phone call asking for abortion money.  And this is way funnier than that was.  <stylepointsblog>

In a setting like Mardi Gras, Tiger Woods is regarded as an even greater hero for his indiscretions.  Which is why they made this float celebrating them.  <theangryt>

And the first legit pictures of Tiger since the incident are finally here.  And they’re boring.  Just like everything else about golf and Tiger Woods that doesn’t have to do with f*cking, fighting or drugs.  <radar>

Fat Guy vs. Pool.  Fat Guy 1, Pool 0.  <evilchili>

Fat Lady vs. Wall.  Wall 1, Fat Lady 0.  <holytaco>

And here’s a great suggestion for how Tiger Woods should handle his press conference on Friday.  It’s probably the only thing that could make me watch this stupid thing.  <wwtdd>

That’s all for today.  I have to let some lady drain blood out of my arm and fondle my nuts this morning.  And then I have to go in for a physical.  ZING!  Send link tips and story suggestions to bootleggersports@gmail.com. 

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