Vikings Players Upset That Actions Have Consequences

This is why Brad Childress' golf court is equipped with a cow-catcher

Kevin Williams and Pat Williams put together are essentially two giant paper weights capable of keeping America from floating off into space.  When you consider their immense stature, it’s easy to assume that they are used to getting their own way and rarely suffer the consequences of their actions.  But, everyone has to grow up and understand the way of the world eventually.  That, evidently, even includes millionaires the size of the heroes from tall tales.

Both defensive tackles violated the NFL’s anti-doping policy in 2008 by taking a diuretic that was popularly used to mask steroids.  Both were handed a four-game suspension and though neither disputes using the banned substance, they have appealed and taken their case to federal court.

I like to pretend that the Williamses sound like Samuel L. Jackson in ‘A Time to Kill’.

‘Are you two guilty?’

‘Yes, we deserve to die and I hope we burn in hell…but we’d prefer not to on account of a technicality.’

That doesn’t sound like much of a legal argument and I don’t even think Sam Jackson could’ve made that sound cool.

Both players are represented by the same agent.  So his business card’s claim that he “represents a ton of top tier talent” is statistically correct.  According to said agent, Pat Williams had to “shut down” his community service ventures and his side business because of the negative impact of a positive drug test.  That’s right.  Despite all the convicted criminals who are forced by the law to do community service, Pat Williams was actually prevented from being able to help the less fortunate and better his community because he was disciplined by the NFL.

The agent also says a deal with an energy drink company that would’ve paid Pat $450k over three years fell through after news of the positive test was made public.  This is the part that does strike a chord with me.  It’s tough to think of anything more painful than an athlete who makes millions of dollars per year losing out on more money because of something stupid he did.  This is actually making me tear up more than when I heard about Donte Stallworth’s tragic plight.

I’m not exactly sure what the Williamses argument is here.  I guess they’re upset that the positive test was made public…yes?  I mean, what they took was on a list of banned substances.  They admit to taking it.  But, they somehow manage to get indignant when it’s suggested they accept the punishment for the crime they very obviously committed.  This would be roughly the same as me going out, killing a guy, let’s say for believability it was Jared Allen, then bragging about it, like I definitely would, admitting to it under oath, and then when it came time to accept my sentence, I simply said, ‘no, I won’t be accepting that.  I’m out,’ and calmly strolling out of the court room.  I mean, the Williamses case is a little different because they’ve been allowed to calmly live their lives uninterrupted by the sentence that’s been attempted to be handed down to them.  I’m almost positive some asshat would stop me from doing the same after ridding the world of the jack-in-the-box.

Tags: douchebaggery, football, Kevin Williams, Minnesota Vikings, NFL, Pat Williams, steroids

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